Disclaimer: Like Summer says, Joss is Boss. I own nothing.

A/N: A shout out to my beta 2x2; thanks a bunch. Also, the exchange at the end is taken from the movie, so not mine, and the poem at the end, also not mine.

* * * * * * *

He woke in his chair.

At first he was disoriented, like he had just been roused from a very bad dream. Images of Reavers and a massive battle in a planet’s atmosphere wouldn’t leave his head. When he remembered the rough crash landing Serenity went through, it all came rushing back.

He was dead.

Wash looked down at his chest, expecting to find a jagged piece of metal sticking out or a bloody wound. But the front of his jumpsuit was clean and unmarred. Tentatively he ran his fingers over the fabric, perhaps hoping to find some evidence that he wasn’t dead and the hole from the Reaver harpoon had simply been patched over. Or maybe he had just fallen asleep at the controls and everything had been a dream and that any moment Zoe would come walking onto the bridge, telling him to come to bed.

He waited, listening for the sound of Zoe’s footfalls or even her voice.

Nothing.

His hand fell to his side. Saddened, he looked up, past the console. Rather than seeing the blackness of space and a smattering of stars, there was nothing but white as far as he could see. And it wasn’t just clouds or the glare from a sun. It was nothingness.

So, not a dream. Wash got up from his chair. If this was heaven, it wasn’t how he had pictured it. From the way Book had spoken about it from his Bible, there should have been other deceased people, or maybe some harps and halos if the old imagery from Earth-that-Was rang true. Or, and here was an option that didn’t thrill Wash, maybe he was a ghost and he had to haunt Serenity for the rest of his afterlife.

To be part of the crew but not really, no, he didn’t want that. He’d give anything to see Zoe one last time, maybe have a proper good-bye, but he didn’t want to see her live out the rest of her