Blue Sun Room FICTION - HORROR

Incubus, The Word

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Every action has a consequence.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2757    RATING: 9.0 (NC17)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Authors note: I advise reading my pervious story “Incubus, prolog” before reading this.

“When I was very young my Father would tell me that in the beginning was the word and the word was God. That God spoke into the darkness and said let there be light and it was so. What a marvel it was that the word had such power.”

Kim raced down the halls of the hospital. She had received word 15 minutes ago. There had been an incident at the bar, a fight. Paul had been hurt. She gripped the arm of their eight-year-old son Tomas, he struggled to keep up, she was hurting him. He didn’t complain. “Im looking for my Husband, his name is Smith, Paul Smith.” The man at the desk observed her coldly. “And you are?” Kim tried to remain calm “His wife, Kimberly Smith”. The man gestured “ID?” She pulled out her card with trembling hands. The man took a deep breath followed by a little ambivalent sigh. “Down that corridor and to the left, I’ll let Dr. Carr know your coming.” Kim took her ID back. The man gave a large false grin “Have a great day.”

“My Father also told be about the garden and the tree. Of the snake that was the most cunning of all Gods creatures. He told me that woman’s arrogance condemned man to a life of hardship, my father was like that. But that’s not what I saw.”

Kim came to small hospital room where her husband lay unconscious. He was dwarfed by the medical equipment that surrounded him. She fought back the tears. Tomas was being so brave. Her voice wavered as she spoke “What happened?” Dr. Carr spoke with well-practiced concern “Apparently some girl attacked the patrons of a bar your husband was attending. A lot of folks got hurt.” Kim was actively trying to stop herself from shaking now, when she spoke she could not hide the rage. “What girl did this?” Dr. Carr responded in that same practiced voice “I don’t know. The authorities are launching a full investigation, im sure they will get to the bottom of it.” Kim knew she had to ask. She fears the answer “Will he be ok?” Dr. Carr looked at her with al

Comments
Tuesday, 10 January 2006 19:52
Ow, all that block of text really hurt my eyes and almost put me off even wanting to read this. Please, please, please break up the blocks of text as a kindness to your readers. With a little tidying up you have the makings of a really good story here. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:09
I think in future im going to have to get someone’s help breaking my stories up for comfortable reading. I never do seem to get it right.
Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:50
kaylee!!!!! *worries*

b

p.s. taking a line for each new speaker should help break it up.

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