"Nobody said anything about a drag show," Simon said, pouting in a chair in the corner of Inara's shuttle.

Inara laughed. "I didn't think it was necessary. No one's going to know we're really women."

"I'm not," Simon pointed out. "And I'm not exactly keen on the idea of dressing as one."

"You'll make an awful pretty girl," Kaylee teased.

Kate was inspecting Simon's face, far too close for his personal comfort. "What? What are you doing?"

"You have amazing skin," Kate said. "No shadow, and it's fairly late; we might not even need to use the cake makeup on him, 'Nara."

"What do you think, girls?" Inara said, holding up two wigs. "Is he a blonde or a redhead?"

"Why me?" Simon whined.

"Mal's the boss, Jayne's too hairy, and Wash hasn't got the hips for it," Kate grinned.

~*~

"If'n I didn't know better," Jayne said, watching Wash and Hannah put together a holo-puzzle, "I'd almost think she was yer get for true."

"Huh?" Wash looked up.

"Kid's got yer eyes," Jayne told him. "She's fair like you. Looks more like you than her momma." Jayne grabbed a sandwich and headed for his bunk.

"Man's got a point," Mal said, studying the two closer. "If I didn't know you were married to Zoe when this li'l one was concieved -"

"It's not possible," Wash said suddenly. "Is it? It can't be."

"I'm not going in there," Simon said from the corridor. "No. Ow, Kate. Inara, stop pushing. I'm going to fall off these shoes!"

A very tall, thin blonde stumbled gracelessly into the common room, and Mal just about pissed himself laughing. "Doc, what in hell did you let those women do to ya?" he snickered. Simon made a very lovely woman, as the girls had predicted, and Wash had to do a double-take.

"I didn't let them do anything," Simon said dryly. "This? Is all your doing. Sir," he added sarcastically.

"Not gorram possible," Wash repeated as River, Kate and Inara were ushered into the room by a giggling Kaylee. They were all dressed like Simon, in black and purple lace and vinyl, with over-the-to