Mal Reynolds hated Valentine's Day. February always started out so promisingly, with U-Day brawls on the seventh, but then only a week later he found himself in the doldrums again. This year was no different - well, that wasn't right. It was different, it just wasn't any better. If anything, it was much worse.

Kaylee's knickers were all in a twist over the fancy young doctor. She'd got him chocolates for Valentine's Day, and Mal really had to give him credit - he'd tried to enjoy them, then he'd tried to pretend to enjoy them... and then he'd been sick. Turned out the young doc was allergic to nuts, and it was the pecan clusters that did him in. Kaylee had to follow his choked directions and give him a big old shot in the rear end. In a very sick way, it had made Mal's day a little brighter.

Now, he knew he couldn't hide in his bunk the rest of the day - he'd found an excuse to hole up down there after Wash had come to him, asking him to side with him in an argument with Zoe. Mal knew better than to go up against Zoe in anything, and domestic squabbles and the like were no different. He'd tried to back out politely, but ended up getting Zoe and Wash mad at him, so he didn't dare go to the bridge, because either one or both of them would be there and he desperately didn't want to get back into it with them.

The cargo bay was off-limits, for sure. River was dancing, for one thing, and Jayne was... doing whatever it was that Jayne did when he was in the cargo bay. Mal didn't like to ask, because he generally wanted to scrub the answer from his brain with steel wool. River got kind of... airy about the brainpan when she danced like she weren't even there no more, and it was more than a little creepifying to see her spinning around down there with empty eyes. 'Course, she could be playing mind games with the merc, and that was always entertaining to watch because Jayne always got real nervous like he thought Mal was gonna space him. Mal knew Jayne weren't doing nothing to egg her on, the girl just got a giggl