"River... mei-mei, you're naked," Simon said slowly. River gave him her patented eye-roll. "This is the kitchen."

"Not stupid, Simon," River began.

"Gotcha, you little clothes-stealin' -"

"Jayne!" Simon gasped. "Dear lord, would you put that thing away?"

Jayne's hands flew to cover his man-bits. "Doc. Uh, what you doin', uh, in the kitchen at this hour?"

"Getting a snack," Simon answered. "Thoug I've just lost my appetite. River, what is -"

"Took my clothes!" Jayne blurted out. "I weren't in 'em, an' she - she took 'em. I's just chasin' her to - to get 'em back, see?"

"Okay..." Simon said, confused. "But River, why are you naked?"

"Because I'm not wearing any clothes," River said patiently, looking at Simon as though he were a very small, mentally challenged child.

"Everyone on this ship is going space-crazy," Simon muttered, turning to head back to the bunk he shared with his wife. "The captain won't stop smiling, my sister is naked in the kitchen... either they're losing it or I am."

"Don't forget Kaylee's xiaochi," River called after him.

"Right," he replied, doubling back for the cookies.

"What in the ruttin' hell was that?" Jayne demanded. "Yer a gorram reader, girl. Don't tell me you didn't know you'd run into the doc out here."

River shrugged. "It's of no consequence."

"No consequence?" Jayne repeated. "Why don'tcha care yer gorram brother seen us both naked as jaybirds, when ya won't even ruttin' tell him 'bout us?"

"Planting the seeds," River said airily, dismissing him with a wave of her hand.

"No seed's gonna be plantin' 'round here," Jayne frowned. "How you gonna explain a baby when you can't even admit yer sleepin' with me?"

River smiled slowly, deliberately. "That phrase is highly inaccurate. Very little sleeping actually occurs."

"Sleepin', sexin', ruttin' - call it what the hell you want, but there ain't no more of it gonna happen 'til you're ready to come clean."

"I'm very clean," River purred, trying to distract him. "And I always -"

"N