Zoe watched Mal climb out of her bunk. She’d feigned a need for sleep, but in truth she was worried about where their conversation had been leading. She and Mal had never sat on a bed before, each asking the other if they’d ever considered each other as a lover over the years.

It wasn’t that she was opposed to the idea of being with Mal in a romantic fashion. She’d pondered it before she and Wash had gotten married, but never during. She’d put those thoughts aside after she’d given her heart to Wash.

A few months after he’d died though, when she’d lain awake in the dead of night, listening to the heartbeat of the ship, she’d wondered what would happen if she’d gone to her oldest and dearest friend for some comfort that involved a great deal more than a friendly hug and a pat on the back.

Then there was Inara. She wasn’t sure what was going on there. Zoe knew Mal to be a one-woman man, and he would have nothing less in return than a one-man woman. Inara, for her part, had built her life around being a Companion from the age of twelve. It was more than a job, it was her identity, and there wasn’t much of a market for prudish Companions who wouldn’t spread. Considering the amount of money one paid for a bona fide Companion, a man or woman expected to get more than a pretty lady on their arm for a social gathering. Mal could never share his woman with other people, and Inara would most likely never give up her identity to be with just one man.

Besides, once Mal got his teeth into something, he never let it go. He’d always have the ghosts of the other men and women who’d been with Inara before him haunting his thoughts. Despite his smarts and his bravery, Zoe knew there was a vulnerability inside Mal. He’d always fear he wouldn’t be enough for Inara, even if Inara truthfully told him that he was, and he would never be able to keep her in the luxury and the gold that she was accustomed to having, and he would be self-conscious about that as well.

But what could I give him? Zoe wondered.

A