Just keep a straight face, she said to herself. Everything will be fine, if you keep a straight face.

Zoe Warren laid a hand over her throat, felt the pulse beating there, and took comfort in the slow, steady rhythm. However, as she walked down the steps to the cargo bay where the crew was gathered, that pulse quickened. She’d seen the looks of pity and sympathy on everyone’s face over the past week, and it was driving her insane. She’d rather be looked upon in contempt than pity.

The cargo bay was full up with the crew. Kaylee stood with her arms wrapped over River’s shoulders. The girl looked upset, her head bowed and her skin was pale. Her grief over this day was momentarily forgotten as she wondered what was wrong with the girl.

Simon stood behind Kaylee, watching her closely with a satisfyingly blank expression. It was neither warm nor cool, nor was it filled with pity. At least not for her. Inara had her arms crossed over her chest as if she were cold, which made no since, considering the warm air pouring in over the open ramp.

Jayne was making love to Vera, checking her over with his hands, making sure she was in perfect working order, his mind on the mission at hand and nothing more.

Mal stood on the slope of the ramp, looking out at the landscape before him. Spring was in full swing on this moon, Cerberus. The trees were full, the grass was tall and green, and flowers grew in pretty, colorful clusters over the field. The captain turned at the sound of her footsteps, hollow on the metal grating.

“Who died?” Zoe asked, knowing how callous she sounded, asking a question like that on this of all days, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t even bothered by Kaylee’s sharp look of disapproval.

“What do you mean, asking something like that today?” Kaylee demanded.

“It’s all in here,” River whimpered. She pointed to her heart. “It’s all here. It pours in like a flood and I can’t push it back. I can’t make it stop.”

“Can’t push what back?” Zoe asked, feeling a strange sense of calm pour over