Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

No Picnic

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Simon and Kaylee have a picnic that's anything but.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2433    RATING: 9.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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A little Simon/Kaylee fluff because there's just not enough of it in the 'verse. (G)

Not sure this qualifies as fan fiction, just a little scene that popped into my head that I wanted to share with the pros out there. Because of a profound lack of narrative writing ability, I ticked this out more like a script just to get it down. Please critique away. Nothing is ever done until it's been edited. And to my shame my spellchecker is down, so feel free to point out typos.

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Scene shot very close up from above looking down on Simon and Kaylee, slowly pulling back bit by bit. They're lying on their backs on a picnic blanket, Simon has his arms behind his head and Kaylee is resting her head on Simon's stomach. You can see part of a picnic basket, a thermos, and perhaps a book. Kaylee is eating popcorn.

Kaylee

(Pointing up)

That one there looks kinda like a hippo.

Simon

(looks where she's pointing quizzcally)

I just don't see where you're getting that.

Kaylee

You just gotta use your imagination a bit. What do you see?

Simon

It looks kinda like a ..... a liver?

Kaylee

What's a liver look like?

Simon

Well... kinda like that.....

(Shakes head, disappointed in himself)

I'm sorry, this whole day just hasn't gone....

Kaylee

Simon Tam, apologize for this date and I will hurt you. Take that!

(Bounces head hard on Simon's stomach)

Simon

(Coughs)

Alright! Alright!

(Puts hands up in mock surrender)

Aside from your lovely, yet increasingly violent presence, tell me something that's gone right.

Kaylee

Well...no ants.

Simon

(Thinks about this for a beat)

Do any of the planets out here have ants?

Kaylee,

Don't imagine so. There's some bugs that they freeze and ship, and some that hitch rides with cargo. Not much use for 'em I 'spose. Heck, back home we didn't even have bees to pollenate the corn, farmers would hire kids to do it.

Simon

How'd they do that?

Kaylee

You get little brushes and you just go from plant t

Comments
Tuesday, 22 November 2005 04:41
Heeee.

I'm still giggling over Corn-Panion.

Who can resist the allure of unfunny puns? Not me. That was very sweet.
Tuesday, 22 November 2005 04:50
Oh this is cute. I like moments where despite the limited resources, two characters can make the best out of any situation.

This might have served as a good prologue for an ep if the show had continued.
Tuesday, 22 November 2005 05:18
I thought this was very cute! And major kudos for the corn-panion. I giggled profusely. I think you should continue writing and update soon. Who couldnt use a little more Simon/Kaylee in their life.
Tuesday, 22 November 2005 05:20
Oh and ps I totally thought they were outside.
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 22 November 2005 05:31
that was really quite cute, i love river at the end lying on kaylee's stomach, so cute!!
Tuesday, 22 November 2005 05:35
corn-panion haha!! This was really well written ,cute and funny!!! I definately think you should write more Kaylee/Simon fluff since you do it remarkibly well!! ;D
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 22 November 2005 12:02
It's lovely. I like your writing style - it means that the story comes through clearly, without having to worry about convoluted language and grammar.

Any more fluff bunnies waiting?
Tuesday, 22 November 2005 13:15
I liked this and a sweet moment I could actually see slotting into the series without ruffling a single seam. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 22 November 2005 13:19
LMAO would have made a very good sceene. I'm more of a narrative writer myself, but I can't imagine how you could pull that off any other way.

Favourite lines:
Kaylee: "On a good day, I could knock up about 6 acres of corn."

Simon: "I bet you never even called the next morning. Poor corn, stuck raising a dozen ears all by itself. And you skip town on Serenity. Admit it. You're just out here shirking you parental responsibilites."

I loved the whole corn bit, very well done and corn-panion... LMAO
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:27
Heee hee!
Oh, it's SameErtia, here. I forgot to log in!
I needed a good giggle after that "Colorado Cowboy" thing made me cry.
Wednesday, 23 November 2005 02:16
Great job. I thought they were seriously having a picnic outside. I liked the "no ants" comment and then of course the pollenating the corn. Takes me back to corn de-tasseling. *silly grin*
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 23 November 2005 23:53
that was.... perfect. Perfectly in the vein of the final scene of "Shindig". You've got the touch down perfect. I hope to see this scene again as the opening of an episode-length fic.
Thursday, 24 November 2005 20:54
i loved the slow realisation that they were still on serenity...
favourite line: "okay, that spot really does look remarkably like santa..."

b
Sunday, 27 November 2005 20:41
I really like this. Puns, setting, it's rather good.
Only I have the feeling River should have said "Who's Santa?" Or maybe that's just me.
Corn-panion.
*groan*
XD
..jen..
Sunday, 29 January 2006 02:44
Oh now this was just great! They're inside, looking at rust! cackle

Would have made a nice opener for an episode....and then of course something happens to the ship to interrupt their little picnic....

hee. Nicely done.
Tuesday, 31 January 2006 04:24
This is really fantastic. Nice set up and great twist. I could visualize the whole thing. Great job. The voices were perfect.
Monday, 13 February 2006 00:27
*LOL* I really could see this being part of an episode.
Tuesday, 21 February 2006 15:16
Lovely, just lovely :)

Wednesday, 06 September 2006 10:44
Oh, see now? I'm gonna be using the term "corn-panion" all the time now. xD
Thursday, 14 September 2006 05:30
I will add my comment to this very commented fic. I like it. I even like Simon's bad pun. Keep writing.
Sunday, 17 December 2006 14:15
oh i loved this!!! great job!!!! :) man i can totally imagine that.
MERRYWYN
Thursday, 28 June 2007 04:42
Lol, I loved this! I'm still snickering about the whole "On a good day I could knock up six acres of corn" Definately keep it up!
HISBAOBEI
Thursday, 09 July 2009 22:41
Just ran across this again... and it still holds up. What words? It's classic, brilliant, precise in inflection of humor and characters' voices.

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