To: MISTER NISKA, BADGER, DARLENE

From: CROW

Subject: Friends Survey

1. What is your occupation? MISTER NISKA’S GOOD RIGHT HAND

2. What color is your underwear? UNDERWEAR IS FOR THE WEAK

3. What are you listening to right now? SCREAMS OF THOSE WHO CROSSED MISTER NISKA

4. What was the last thing you ate? RAW BEEF

5. Do you wish on stars? WISHES ARE FOR THE WEAK

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? A lovely lavenda—er, BLACK, LIKE MY SOUL

7. How is the weather right now? BONE COLD

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? PHONES ARE FOR THE WEAK

9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yeah, he’s good people.

10. Name three things other than office supplies/computer/laptop that are

on your desk right now: MY BLADE, MY BAT, AND A FUZZY PINK SWEAT—er, SOME OTHER HUGE, SCARY WEAPON WITH WHICH TO KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP

11. Favorite drink? BLOOD OF THE WEAK

12. Another MIA one ... how about any tattoos? TATTOOS ARE FOR THE W--, wait, yes, I have several. Sorry, got off on the whole “weak” thing.

13. Have you ever dyed your hair? NO

14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Funny story, was going to get LASIK, but Mister Niska wouldn’t let me have the time off, so I called my bud, Jimbo, who’s good with lasers… and well, I guess it’s not such a funny story… anyway, the short answer is “no”.

15. Who do you think Jennifer Aniston should marry next? I AM STILL BROKEN UP OVER WHAT BRAD AND THAT SCARLET JOLIE WOMAN DID TO HER, SO IT’S HARD TO TALK ABOUT. JEN, IF YOU WANT A REAL MAN, CALL ME

16. Favorite month? OKTOBER

17. Favorite food? BONES OF THE WEAK

18. What was the last movie you watched? BEATING THE WEAK VOL. IV: Courage to Torture: Yes You Can

19. Favorite day of the year? CHRISTMAS: MISTER NISKA KNOWS HOW TO THROW AN OFFICE PARTY

20. What do you do to vent anger? CRUSH THE WEAK

21. Favorite Toy as a child? SIT-N-STAB

22. Fall or Spring? FALL

23. Hugs or kisses? A SWEET KISS FROM MY BLADE TO YOUR THROAT

24. Cherry or Blueberry? BLUEBERRY

25. Do you w