Sometimes, she hated him.

He had this way about him. Cocky and sure, like the whole world was at his feet. It amused her to think that he and Simon had that in common. Jayne strutted while he worked, wearing his don't-fuck-with-me scowl and demanding your attention to his guns and his muscle and the fact that you were going to die if you breathed wrong. Simon's was an understated confidence that he wore like a shield. But it too, would overflow when he was at work, flooding the infirmary and demanding unquestioning obedience from those around him. And he got it.

Sometimes, she hated him too.

She tried to crawl inside of Simon after Wash and Book died. Wanted his confidence and his smarts and his goodness to heal the emotional wounds the battle with the Reavers had caused. She'd wanted him for so very long, and now she had him, all of him, in several very interesting ways.

She was beginning to think it wasn't enough. Maybe it never would be.

Sometimes, she hated Jayne.

Everyone else on ship mourned, but not Jayne. Life just went on as though Wash had never been there, and that Book was still alive and well in Haven. He still worked out for hours a day. Still cleaned his weapons. Still badgered the Captain to get a job lined up. Still complained about River being moonbrained, even though she'd saved them all. Still teased and taunted Simon until he was red with rage. Still made crude jokes about Inara servicing crew.

He still flirted with Zoe.

She'd seen them once, in the cargo bay, fighting. Fists flying, booted heels knocking the feet out from under one another. Jayne was stronger, but Zoe was quicker. He'd been loud and crude, keeping up a steady stream of sharp, cruel words, taunting her about Wash and the war and the reavers, and she used her fists to make him regret it.

She wondered if Zoe even knew she was crying as she beat the hell out of Jayne.

When he was down, and Kaylee actually feared he'd never get up, he smiled up at Zoe despite his split lip. Chest heaving as she