(A/N) I went out and bought an entire bag of Reese's mini pb cups in order to get that one scene right. I hope y'all appreciate the sacrifice I made. Also, since this is a W/Z courtship story, most of our beloved crew is missing.

Sweet Tooth

Wash knew what the package was even before he turned it address-side up. "Hooo doggie," he crooned, grinning widely at the postmark from Cuchulainn. "Happy birthday to me."

"Whatcha got there, Wash?" Mal asked.

"Total tooth destruction," he told his captain, going to the counter and taking the butcher knife to the seals. "Take a good look."

Mal whistled. "Hwai leh! That all candy?"

Wash stuck his hand in to the wrist and wiggled his fingers. "Nothin’ but sugar, all the way down. Birthday present from my best friend back home."

"Damn good friend. Best be sharin’ that, son."

"Believe I will." He got down the biggest bowl in the cupboard. Plastic wrappers rustled and hard candies clanged against the side of the bowl as he upended the box.

"Shiny!" Bester, never one to suppress his appetites, dug in. "What’re these?" he asked, holding up a silver-wrapped candy.

"Ah," Wash said in tones of greatest reverence. "That, my son, is the jewel of our collection. Note the symmetry of form, the delicate colors--"

Bester ripped it open. "It’s a peanut butter cup," he said.

"Not any ol’ peanut butter cup, grasshopper. Just you pop that in your mouth."

Bester took him at his word and shoved it in whole. He munched for a moment, then swallowed. "It’s a good peanut butter cup," he acknowledged. "But I like these better." He unwrapped a marshmallow-filled sherbet ball the size of a man’s fist. "Remind me of titties."

"Barbarian," Wash said, and held the bowl out to Zoe as she came down the steps. "Want something?"

She didn’t even glance at the selection, but shook her head. "I’m fine. Sir, you got a wave."

"Who is it?" Mal asked through a mouthful of grape gummy.

"Mongelli."

A look passed between them. Mal swallowed his candy, swore, a