Author's notes: I would like to thank KaySky for helping me out with the dialogue. She really had a grasp on Mal and Zoe and helped me shape some of my best material. So thanks.

Simon gasped. He had just woken up in the middle of the night with his heart racing and a cold sweat on him. He was sitting up in Kaylee’s bed, with Kaylee’s back to him. She was out like a light with a smile on her face. But Simon didn’t notice that as he got out of her bed and headed towards her sink. He turned on the little light next to the basin and squeezed out some of the orange smelling oil cleanser she had next to the faucet. Very fervently, he began washing his hands.

This was the fiftieth time in two days that he’s done this.

Ever since the night where he was christened by Jayne as “Shotgun Tam”, Simon had been acting more so like his sister. He was slightly on edge with everything and everyone around him. The sight of guns and weapons were beginning to make him incredibly nervous and he hadn’t even been in the infirmary since that night where Mal helped him in there to clean off the blood, administer a few stitches on the gash and to give himself a smoother. He had spent most of his time wandering the ship, playing idly with River and most of the time near a sink, constantly washing his hands. For some reason, he kept seeing tiny stains on his hands where the blood had been. He had used up all the soaps and disinfectants in the infirmary and had even begun using some of Wash’s aftershave to kill the smell and bacteria he thought were there. But no matter how many times he washed his hands, the stains and the smell of the other man’s blood were still on his hands.

Simon looked up to see his reflection in the mirror. Lately, he’s been looking like Hell, and that was without the stitches. He seemed paler than normal, with his blank eyes beginning to sink into his head and his hair becoming stringier. Usually it wasn’t that noticeable. But the dream he just had made everything going on inside and out