Conclusion

(Please read the notes at the end of the story. Thank you.)

******

What I always remember most about afterwards is the quiet.

Zoe held Mal's hand a few moments longer, then stood up, giving orders. Stunned by grief, we couldn't move at first, or speak.

River crouched down beside me, holding my shoulders. "Let me help, Simon," she said softly.

I'd come to believe more and more that being on Serenity is what saved my sister from a descent into total madness. They had changed her, I knew that, into something beyond human, and at times she still said and did odd, eerie things. But sometimes she seemed stronger and saner than anyone else on the ship. She was that way now, taking charge of me as sorrow threatened to overwhelm my professionalism.

I looked at her gratefully and nodded. Together, we wrapped Mal's body in a blanket. Jayne and Book brought the stretcher, then carried him to the infirmary.

Wash met Zoe at the bottom of the stairs. They embraced quickly, and Wash kissed her. Without a word, they hurried up to the bridge.

Inara and Kaylee still clung to each other, both near to collapse. I asked River to take them up to the kitchen, to make some strong tea for them, for everyone. Inara, her beautiful face marred by tears, rallied for a moment and stopped by my side.

"Simon..." She caught me by the arm. "You–"

"No." I had to stop her. I knew what she was going to say, and I didn't want to hear it. Yes, I'd done all that I could; no one could have done more.

But it wasn't enough.

Inara sighed. Tenderly, she kissed my cheek, then followed River and Kaylee.

Alone, I looked around the silent, empty bay. The realization came slowly that no one else had been injured, not even grazed by a bullet. I should have been relieved, glad–but instead a coldness grew inside me, because it made it all the more wrong, so terribly unfair.

Alone, I cleaned the captain's blood from the floor.

A while later, it was still quiet. I had finished m