REUNION - II - Revelation (a) (Update)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
"One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim." - George Carlin
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 1356 RATING: 9.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
The trip out to the scrap belt is a long one, and since Diana is the newest and most mysterious person on board, much of the conversation is with her and about her.
It’s fueled even more by her evasive answers to their major questions, and finally Simon decides to be more direct; “Diana, we’ve been sailing out to the rim for days now, and we feel we should know more about our destination. But we never get a straight answer. I’m beginning think you don’t know yourself. Do you actually know where we’re going?”
A direct question gets a direct answer: “No. But I’ll know when we’re there.”
That’s not very helpful, but better than anything they’ve heard before, so Simon presses on. “We’d also like to know why the Alliance Lieutenant backed away when you showed him your Ident.”
“I don’t know that either. But it always works. I’m hoping I can find answers to both your questions in the Scrap Belt”
That seems honest, if not exactly satisfying. But it seems that’s all they’ll get…
The good thing about Diana is that’s she’s very likable, friendly and talkative on a whole range of other topics, and has added more than just conversation to dinner. She also turns out to be a superb cook, making gourmet meals out of basic rations.
Inara is especially complimentary one night; “Diana, this roast Duck in fresh Cherry sauce is superb. I’ve never had anything quite like it.”
Kaylee agrees, “Yes, it’s shiny – but I know there were no ducks in those stores.”
Zoë adds, “Nor any fresh cherries.”
Diana smiles mysteriously; “It’s amazing what one can do with the right spices. A man can live on packaged food from here to judgment day if he’s got enough Rosemary.”
Simon turns to his sister; “I seem to remember hearing that ‘Rosemary’ line before…”
River looks blank, then touches Simon’s forehead. She pulls back – “Preacher Man.”
Soon the ship has a new position it’s never had before - Ship’s Cook! Diana is now an integral part of Serenity’s crew.
In the midst of one of Diana’s incredible meals, the
"You can't take the sky from me!"
I dunno. I gotta admit, I stopped reading around the point Diana knew the name of some medicine that Simon needed.
I'll probably keep checking in, but it's like Diana's purpose as a character is to fix problems as the plot brings them up and provide information and exposition, which makes it seem like she knows more than any of the other characters. Her personality is steady but who she is and what she can do is all over the place, and we don't know yet why she's on Serenity, we don't know any of her motivations. I'm sure you got a great backstory planned for her, and an explanation for all that, but as a character to me it seems like she's not quite out of the oven yet, y'know?
The thing that makes Firefly great is it's an ensemble cast. No one is more important than anyone else, and their skill sets are specialized so each of them have a role and don't step on any toes.
I was actually fine with Diana last chapter, when she was just providing parts for Kaylee. But this chapter, just a little too much.
Don't let me discourage you from writing! I know it's not easy to do. I'm hoping you found this helpful and constructive.
I can understand your viewpoint, but I do not intend that Diana should become the "magic bullet" to every problem the crew faces.
I must admit she rather took over this particular piece, but it's not her talents, but her backstory that is critical to most of this phase, if not the entire tale - You may be right, and perhaps I stressed her wide experience too much here, but I felt it important.
A minor spoiler - as the tale develops, and even by the end of this chapter, she will gradually fade from the very active position she holds at the moment, although she remains a valuable crewmember.
Thanks again. I appreciate all comments, they make me refocus.
I do like seeing how many writers I've been seeing around Blue Sun Room, so I'm glad you'll be writing more.
But my biggest challenge so far is language - not Chinese/English, but Mal/Simon/Jayne, etc.
I had not realized until I started this series how each character has a slightly different manner of speaking. This is even more difficult when doing it in text rather than in video. I have tried to maintain Joss's dialects, and added another for Diana, based on her backstory.
It's difficult to run the fine line between parody and excess subtlety.
I'm not at all sure I've succeeded, and doubt if even I could pick out the variations if I backed away for a month.
I agree that the scene with Simon's drugs was a bit heavyhanded, especially since it does nothing to further the tale, neither now nor in future episodes, and so has been deleted.
No other changes made.
It's a shame in a way - I spent some noticeable time researching the ideal drug series to recommend. However, that's my problem, not the tale's, and I shouldn't get wedded to ideas that don't work out.
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