Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Firefly: After Miranda Part 4

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Serenity has a job and Jayne plays Santa Claus but not everyone is happy.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 4798    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Part 3 can be found here http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=23535

- 4 -

Mal strode across the landing pad towards Serenity’s open cargo bay. The rest of the crew was already waiting inside.

“Are we about set folks?” Mal asked as he walked up the ramp.

“We are, orders sir?” Zoe quickly and routinely responded.

“River take us…what?” Mal asked puzzled as he turned around and found River was smiling up at him, her arms crossed behind her back, slowly turned back and forth making the hem of her new dress swirl around her ankles. It took him a minute to realize what she wanted but after seeing she had been freshly washed and groomed he got it. Smiling back at her he said, “Would my very pretty young pilot please take us out of the world?”

“Yes, Captain,” River answered. “Should I set a course?”

“Might as well, since you already know where we’re headed. I’ll be up to check in a minute”

River spun on her heels and headed up to the bridge. Mal turned to his right to find Kaylee standing close by, also with a big smile on her face. Her hair was also freshly washed. Her face was free from grease and dirt, for once, and she had traded her usual jumpsuit for a new summer dress which was white with large pink and yellow flowers. It fit her well Mal thought.

“Okay,” he stated realizing the game that was going on, “Would my extremely lovely mechanic go make sure nothing blows up in the engine room, please.” Felling overly generous he added, “Take the Doctor with you, don’t want that dress dirtied. Just make sure that dress stays on, we still work before we play.”

“Will do cap’n,” Kaylee joyfully responded grabbing Simon by the arm.

Mal turned again, “Zoe…”

“Don’t have to complement me, sir.”

“Good, I’m running out of fancy words.” Mal smiled. He did notice that Zoe looked fresher then she had in some time. While she still wore her usual clothing he could tell they had been finely laundered. “You and Jayne see to getting Inara’s stuff into her shuttle.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Oh and Zo

Comments
Sunday, 24 July 2011 23:08
When you switch scenes you might want to add a extra space or a divide or something. A couple of times the scene switched from one sentence to the next and wasn't obvious at first. Just offering advice.
Sunday, 24 July 2011 23:24
I put some spacers in. The extra spaces I had refused to show up.
Sunday, 24 July 2011 23:56
I liked this one. :)
Monday, 25 July 2011 16:05
Liked Jayne being so mighty generous and how all his gifts suited the person he gave them to. I couldn't see Zoe turning on Mal like that and blaming him for Wash's death even if she was thinking it. Ali D
"You can't take the sky from me!"
Monday, 25 July 2011 16:05
Liked Jayne being so mighty generous and how all his gifts suited the person he gave them to. I couldn't see Zoe turning on Mal like that and blaming him for Wash's death even if she was thinking it. Ali D
"You can't take the sky from me!"
HISBAOBEI
Friday, 29 July 2011 02:03
more please... :0)
Sunday, 31 July 2011 18:16
I know some readers don't like it, but I live for Mal and Zoe tension, post BDM.

I like how you got Mal and Inara together, her examining the scars:)

There are a few typos, like "that" for "than", but over all well done.
Sunday, 06 November 2011 18:01
Update 11-06-2011

Corrections and a bit of a rewrite.

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