Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Firefly: Albatross - Chapter 6

Friday, July 12, 2013

The crew tries to get off Bellerophone but find things getting more complicated.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 4113    RATING: 10.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Chapter 6

“Don’t know why you’re bothering to fix’em up, doc. We’ll most likely have to shoot’em any ways,” Jayne huffed from his crate, pistol in hand.

“More likely you’ll be the ones that end up dead,” one of the captives said from his spot on the cargo bay floor.

“I’m a doctor, Jayne. No matter what it’s my responsibility to treat them. Besides, if we have to make some sort of deal with their…organization, it will be better if they’re in good health,” Simon responded as he finished his work.

“Organization, have you heard of the Tang syndicate?” another man snorted.

“We know you hwoon dahn , not too worried about it,” Jayne said gruffly, “Now y’all stay still.”

Jayne and Simon walked to the other end of the bay, to where Kaylee and Inara were waiting. The big merc kept one eye and his pistol on their three prisoners and trying not to show the concern that he had whirling in his mind.

“The Tang syndicate, that doesn’t sound good,” Inara commented quietly.

“It ain’t,” Jayne huffed.

“They’re a pretty big crime organization, aren’t they?” Kaylee questioned unsure of herself.

“Big enough that they could make us very dead,” Jayne responded still keeping his pistol pointed at the three men.

“So what do we do?” Simon asked. He did not get a response as the group looked at each other for the answer.

“I think we need to wait for the captain, he’ll know what to do,” Kalyee replied.

“And what if he don’t get back? What then?” Jayne questioned harshly.

“Mal will find a way, he always does,” Inara said trying to reassure herself as well as the others.

“The captain has gotten himself into trouble before and needed help out. Plus my sister is still out there,” Simon pointed out.

Jayne stood a little taller, “I say we contact the syndicate and make a deal for these men. Maybe we can get our crew back. They only want the boy I say we let them have ‘em.”

*********

*********

Mal shut the door to the warehouse with a thud. He quickly grabbed the nearby metal bar and ran

Comments
Friday, 26 July 2013 02:21
Now for a boatload of complications! Jayne's negotiation techniques are not especially subtle, are they? But once the Tang were aware, Mal was boxed in; he's probably done the best he can, given the situation. Lots of action in this chapter. I hope Zoe ends up okay, glad she got medical treatment; but it's out of the frying pan, into the fire, because now the Feds are involved, too. Gotta hope that we don't see any Blue Hands or Operatives on the horizon!
I am very glad to see you back, nick, and hope you have a few more chapters of this tale up your sleeve. Thanks much for posting.
Wednesday, 31 July 2013 12:28
Thanks for the comments EB. Hopefully I will have more time to work on the next chapter.
SAKAGAMI_T
Thursday, 01 August 2013 05:40
I read all of these in the space of a week or so, and I am really enjoying this... cant wait for more - I reckon you understand the characters well and the dialogue fits - Id like to see you come up with some personality twists... firefly always had questions and moral tests that would affect how we saw a character (Jayne with his streak of betrayal, Inara's breakdowns, Book's shady past etc...) just because Serenity kinda sealed the story up for the moment doesn't mean the characters don't have anywhere to go.
I also think living on a ship all the time means that people get on each others nerves, arguments, feuds, fights etc...
Finally for the relationship bit (lets be honest we all love this stuff :D)... In my opinion Mal and Inara's relationship would be way more explosive - they are strong personalities, they love hard and they fight hard, and I think Inara would give Mal an earful...
I think there needs to be abit of drama on board, everyone is loving each other too much - which fits with a post-Miranda feel, but I think the family that fights together stays together...
Thats my two cents - its your story though and whatever you wanna write I'll read...

Thank you and keep flying!
CMTAYLOR531
Friday, 30 August 2013 02:44
Wow. I just read all these in a few days. Sucked me right in. I hope you are still writing and haven't given up on these. I need a conclusion. I feel like you've had Inara amd Mal butting heads a bit. I think your are doing a good job of writing them with the balance of the story arc. I love when it's not focuses on romance entirely. I see a few more implosion between Mal and Inara before the find balance between them. I enjoying the sprinklings of Kaylee and Simon. And like I said I love your story arcs win the jobs amd missins. The ,ost. I love they remain the focus. It's like an episode at a time to me.

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