Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

The Hot Place, Act II

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Our heroes are plunging towards Ezra, and meanwhile Inara & co. have a little trouble with police...

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3752    RATING: 10.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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ACT II

FADE UP TO: EXT. SERENITY , at station-keeping some distance from the skyplex.

CUT TO: INT. SERENITY , where Inara and River are looking out of the cockpit windows for any sign of Shuttle II.

River : They’re overdue.

Inara : It isn’t time to worry yet. The passenger didn’t give a definite time, I gather.

River : Something’s wrong. They haven’t called. Hide and seek.

Inara : Well, whatever they’re playing at, I hope they’re having fun.

River (with a look of foreboding) : They’re not...

CUT TO: EZRA’S UPPER ATMOSPHERE - Shuttle II is beginning to skim the atmosphere. She briefly ascends, then descends again - skipping as Jayne suggested in Act I.

Mal (cheery) : Lookin’ good, people! We’re almost slowed enough to try re-entry!

Zoe (doubtfully) : Sir, I don’t like the look of our hull temperature.

Mal (nonchalant) : So we’re gettin’ hot. Bound to. She can take it.

Zoe’s look says she’s not so sure. Mal’s talking more to hear himself than to seriously reassure them, and she knows it. Pragmatic as ever, though, she drops the matter.

Kaylee (tactfully) : Maybe a little shallower, cap’n? Hull’s still tight, there’s no rush.

Mal : Makes sense. (Zoe throws Kaylee a look, i.e. ‘What the hell? He listens to you, but not me?’ Kaylee answers with a shrug) Okay, apply a li’l trim here...

He fires thrusters; the shuttle responds by tilting her nose up a little. The inferno raging outside the hull eases off a bit. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief as the internal temperature drops somewhat.

Mal : What’d you reckon, Mach 12 or thereabouts?

Zoe : Be happier with 10, sir. These things ain’t gliders.

Mal : Least we got power.

Zoe : With everythin' else that's gone wrong, you just had to go an’ say that, didn’t you, sir?

Mal : Huh? (Then he loses attitude control!) Whoa! Kaylee?!

Kaylee unfastens her harness and is thrown to th

Comments
Wednesday, 29 June 2011 15:41
And there we have it - I've hurt my favourite Firefly character...(sob)

But honestly, it's necessary for Act III; it's a source of dramatic tension. I ALMOST have it written...

Comments welcome as always!
Wednesday, 29 June 2011 18:54
Good story. I'd say that I think Inara is normally a little more on the ball in regards to River's prophecies, but other than that, you've got some nice plot tension building.
Thursday, 30 June 2011 12:50
Thanks!

As to Inara, she will be more attentive in Act III, which is undergoing rewriting. So is Act IV, though this is painful because I've been having so much fun writing it - you'll see why when I post it. :)

However, I'm trying to keep every Act's effective running time to 10 minutes or so (I test this by reading it back, allowing odd realistic pauses here and there, plus the odd few seconds for establishing shots, pans, effects sequences etc.); that plus teaser, title sequence and credits should result in a running time of 45 minutes, i.e. an authentic episode length (or is it 50 minutes? Suddenly I'm not sure). For some reason, I feel this is important in writing such a script even though it's never going to be filmed. :)
PINGUINBOY
Friday, 01 July 2011 10:32
Looks good, nice storyline and good expressions of the scenes.
Sunday, 11 December 2011 06:43
in homage to the Mythbusters, she uses - well, what else? - duct tape!
^^^this=AWESOME.


River : I shouldn’t. I might still be a fugitive. That’d break the rules of hide-and-seek.
^^^ VERY good River!!

And oh no!!! Kaylee!!! You can hurt her, just don't kill her, PLEASE *big Kaylee eyes* I mean, it would be such a waste, seeing as you write her so well! And also, because she's SHINY((: I'm sure Simon can fix her when they get back with Serenity? *is a hopeless Simon/Kaylee shipper:D*
anywhoo, can't wait for more of this, hope you update soon!!(((:

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