Innocence Lost

Author's Note: Written for the 2by2fics community on LiveJournal. This is not a part of the Keeping On 'Verse.

This is part of If's & Maybe's, a series of unrelated pieces dedicated to exploring the characters of Mal and Inara, and the relationship between them.

Disclaimer: Firefly, Serenity, and all related characters are copyright 2002-2005 Mutant Enemy, Inc., Universal Pictures, and 20th Century Fox. This is a work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

He meets Inara, wants her, thinks she's beautiful and distrusts her at the same time.

When he was a boy growing up on his Ma’s ranch, he’d visited the pretty girl over at a nearby farm. She’d had blue eyes and blond hair and to his twelve-year-old self, she’d been the prettiest, most innocent thing he’d ever seen.

He’d shown up and played the hero, helped her Pa with the planting, even if he’d known even then that he’d really been needed back at his Ma’s ranch. He’d done all he could to impress her, even if she’d been five years older.

But during growing time, he’d watched her walk out with a gentleman from town, who was older and sophisticated – a man of the world. He’d been the kind of man who’d never done a day’s labor, never sacrificed anything for anyone. He’d been the kind of person who’d look down his nose at anyone who wasn’t like himself.

He’d never been so disheartened before and a tiny part of him had grown bitter that year. He’d stopped going over to help her Pa and had turned his attention back to his Ma’s ranch – his livelihood. He’d followed around the ranch hands, learning from them whereas he’d never really thought about them before.

Malcolm Reynolds had shed a tiny bit of his innocence that year. He’d started to distrust beauty. He’d started to distrust anyone who didn’t work for what they had.

The girl had married the gentleman and her Pa’s harvest had failed.

His Ma’s ranch had done well that year.

He wants