Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Krystal Clear, pt 7

Sunday, March 21, 2010

This was a job just like any other, until someone shows up from Simon and River's past. Secrets come out, relationships are tested, and chaos may or may not ensue.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1675    RATING: 8.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Krys followed Inara out of the dining area a bit tentatively, River trailing behind them. The youngest of the group chattered happily, filling her friend in on the goings on of her life for the last three years. Krys, though still silent, began to relax and smile as they continued through the ship, and by the time they entered Inara’s shuttle most of her hardened exterior seemed to have fallen away.

“Now,” Inara said as River’s speech paused for breath, “let’s see if there really is a human girl beneath all that grime.”

Krys ducked her head, blushing not only from the comment, but also because she only just realized that she was standing in an actual Companion’s workspace. Of course, her particular coloring wasn’t exactly visible.

River reached out carefully and touched her friend’s shoulder. They caught each other’s eye, and suddenly they were embracing. Inara moved away quietly to a corner of her shuttle partitioned off by a red silk screen, leaving the two girls alone.

It took Krys a moment to realize she was crying, tears sliding down her cheeks and leaving dirty spots on River’s white blouse. It almost surprised her to find that River had grown to her height.

River made quiet, comforting noises, her eyes welling as well. She knew that her friend’s tears were stemming from joy, but she still whispered, “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” The two remained like that for a moment more, but as Inara returned they separated carefully, still leaning gently on each other to maintain that point of contact.

“It’s just over here,” Inara said, leading the girls over to the small bathing area. River settled herself beside the basin filled with warm and perfumed water. Inara seemed hesitant to leave, but found it unnecessary when Krys smiled shyly and said, “I don’t mind company.” Inara returned her grin and moved to River’s side.

Krys began undressing slowly, or at least attempting to. She began having difficulty when it came to pulling her shirt over her head, so Inara stood and gently assisted her.

“Thank you,”

Comments
Sunday, 21 March 2010 10:20
Interesting beginning. I doubt, though, that Krys is going to find it quite so easy to forget her attraction to Simon, so I foresee conflict between her and Kaylee, as well as problems with the job.

Just one thing - you might want to consider amalgamating these short pieces into one or two longer chapters. It makes for easier reading, and doesn't flood the BSR, particularly as you uploaded them all at the same time.

I'm looking forward to reading more.
Sunday, 21 March 2010 14:57
Fantastic so far. You've definitely stuck to prose and story telling of the show, and even managed to capture each character very smoothly. I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going.
JAYNELUNDGREN
Monday, 29 March 2010 22:22
Oh yes, the characters are very believable, and Krys has just as much depth as the originals.

More, more I say!
Wednesday, 31 March 2010 23:10
So far your story is pretty good. Though i do have one critic/bit of advice. I think it would have been better if you had combined all these chapters into just a single or at most two chapters. instead of a bunch of little ones.

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