Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA

Dagger of the Mind, chapter 7

Friday, March 19, 2010

Wash has to improvise to save Zoe, leading to some unexpected results

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1984    RATING: 10.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Chapter 7: Chemistry

Author's Note: I am not a doctor, so my apologies if the medical aspects of this section don't match up to known reality. Like Wash, I'm improvising...Scroll-over titles added for those who want to see Chinese translations.

When escaping, it is usually sensible to move towards the exits. But Wash had found over the years that doing things which seemingly made no sense often worked for him. So instead he carried her deeper into the building. To the high-security wing, designed to contain violent inmates. If, like the former residents, they couldn't get out, Wash reasoned, maybe he could set the doors so that no one else could get in. But once they got there, Wash had to reassess his so-called 'plan'. The doors were heavy, all right, with multiple electronic locks. But the equipment was newer -- fewer wires, more microchips, and some electro-plasma grid thingy. Although Wash was pretty good with gadgetry, he saw no obvious, quick way to rig the system to be controlled from the inside, and he sensed that Zoe couldn't spare the time it would take him to figure one out. She wasn't looking glassy-eyed at nothing anymore. Her lids were closed, body listless, and her breathing was dangerously shallow.

In the end, he took a page from the Malcolm Reynolds' Guide to Mechanical Engineering -- close the doors and bang the panel until it short-circuits.

He picked a cell at random from among the dozen or so small and well-padded ones that lined the corridor. The air was close and stuffy, but reasonably warm. Zoe flopped like a rag doll when he put her down. Wash fussed over her as best he could, smoothing her hair from her face (yep, every bit as soft as he'd imagined), unfol

Comments
Saturday, 20 March 2010 13:20
This was adorable, clever, sweet, touching. Housekeeping! Very creative, a nice way to get across what's happening without all the usual.

I'll be back to give feedback about the other chapters later. It's just that I have a very low scariness threshold and your scary is scaaaaaaary.
ELLAGREGGS
Saturday, 20 March 2010 19:24
I haven't finished writing the story, yet, but I think I can safely say you are through the worst of it. Chapter 5 is the scariest, in terms of what is currently occurring in the story. Chapter 9 describes something pretty awful that happened before the story began, so it's maybe upsetting, but probably not scary.
Saturday, 20 March 2010 22:55
Yes, I don't like that stuff either. Watching War Stories with my finger on the fast forward button was enough for me. But 'But didn't the medical establishment frown on reusing needles? Or was it sharing needles? Needling people? Needlepoint? Something like that.' VINTAGE! I'm imagining that Zoe would feel slightly worse than you do after childbirth, when nobody wants to make out with anyone, but aside from this boring plausibility issue, the way you did it was lovely; lovely to see this side of Zoe.
ELLAGREGGS
Sunday, 21 March 2010 10:06
When I started writing the love scene the standard, literal way, I myself got bored. So I really wanted to do something different that would not only have a love scene, but more importantly would reveal something about the characters themselves and their reaction to each other. So Wash always relates to the world in terms of flying, space, ships, manouevers, etc. Zoe relates to herself in terms of solid, tough physical structures - stones, houses, pillars, walls. In terms of their interaction, we see the contrast with Wash kissing Kaylee. With Zoe, his mind is quiet, at peace. Zoe somehow instinctively trusts Wash when he touches her, despite the fact that her conscious mind has, up until this point, not had a very high opinion of him as a person.

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