A Heart Full of Grace, Chapter 2
Monday, March 1, 2010
When trouble comes to find Grace, she goes back to serenity to escape and winds up exploring her ever growing relationship with Captain Reynolds. They both find themselves somewhere they never expected to be after becoming closer. (takes place between end of series before Inara leaves and Serenity)*PLEASE COMMENT, MORE TO COME*
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 2854 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Heart Full of Grace
Chapter 2
The ship hummed gently. Grace had been asleep for a long time and when she finally woke up there seemed to be no one around. She walked up the stairs to the dining room. As she got to the top of the stairs she heard some chatter and then a burst of Jesse’s very distinct laughter. When she came to the door way she saw Jesse, Wash, Zoë, and Kaylee sitting at the table laughing.
“I missed something good, didn’t I?” She said with a sheepish look on her face.
“Was just tellin’ Jesse here about a job we pulled together a while back.” Kaylee said, slightly giggling. “You remember Mr. Felton? Dontcha?”
Grace’s cheeks turned a slight rosy color.
“Not that story!” she cried.
“Oh, come on. Grace, it was an honest mistake. You didn’t know what he looked like.” Zoë said.
“You and Mal did, and you both decided not to tell me I was kissing the wrong guy!” Grace said laughing
“Well, you had a good time didn’t you?” she asked.
“That ain’t the point of it. The point is that you two are just cruel.”
“Yet you still do business with us.” Zoë pointed out.
“Which probably only proves one thing.” Grace said.
“What’s that?”
“That I must be hopelessly in love with you, my darling Zoë! Sorry Wash.”
They all laughed energetically.
“I’m sure we could work something out.” Wash smiled.
“Watch it!” Zoë said punching her husband in the shoulder.
“What, thought it was worth saying.” He said.
“Men.” Grace sighed.
Grace sat in the empty chair next to Kaylee. It had been a long time since she had seen any of them. Every job she did with the crew of Serenity turned into a crazy adventure, and there was always a story to tell. This crew made the vast nothingness of space bearable and even enjoyable.
“So what kind of mischief have you been getting up to since last we’ve seen ya?” Kaylee asked.
“Well” she looked at Jesse. “Picked up this little trouble maker shortly after I left you guys. After that, just surviving, journeyed into the outer rim, tip toeing around the feet of the Alliance. You know,
J? You mind if I call you that? Hey. Listen, don't worry about reviews and such. You're just trying to find your voice, exploring it through an OC. I can get that. I mean, that's what us writers are always doing, right? Trying to find our voices. Every new story refines it just a little more, and we do it for ourselves, not for anyone else. You're here because you have a story you love that you want to tell, and to hell if no one else likes it or reads it, you'd kept posting anyway.
I'm pretty insecure deep down, never really able to accept compliments at face value, I have trouble trusting people. So that's what I have to tell myself to keep going if someone accidentally sets me off. It's not their fault, it's me, and I have to take responsibility for that, and I have to face that, do I give up, or keep at it?
We're browncoats. We're too proud to quit. So get out there and write yourself one hell of a story. I have questions, but it seems like I should keep them to myself, and the way you introduced your OC is not bad. It can be improved, everything can ALWAYS be improved, but it's not bad.
Byte's thoughtful comment made me realize that I was being perhaps a little insensitive. I apologize for that.
Don't write for other people, write for yourself.
Firstly, I disagree with Byte and Rouka about 'write for yourself'. You want feedback, you're writing for an audience. It's different from writing a diary or something else that's only for yourself. The balance I try to aim for in what interests me/what interests my audience is to try to write from the heart but always bear your audience in mind - they might need a lot more convincing and explaining than you do. And the way you characterise is the way you convince. So, for example, Grace acts in an extremely violent way towards Mal, putting a loaded gun to his neck. I think this needs to be put into context so that it doesn't seem like Grace is psychotic. I realise that you want to hint at the relationship that has existed between them in the past, and of course Joss himself uses violence to create erotic charge too. But we don't know Grace at all, and though you've described a little through her body language and way of speaking what she's about I think you need to do it a lot more to make a gesture like the gun thing work.
Hope that's helpful.
"She walked up the stairs to the dining room. As she got to the top of the stairs she heard some chatter and then a burst of Jesse’s very distinct laughter. When she came to the door way she saw Jesse, Wash, Zoë, and Kaylee sitting at the table laughing."...again, as with part 1, you captured me here, because I was able to SEE this moment, it seemed real, and natural.
“Married…” Mal said as he walked into the room from the crew quarters. “Did I walk in at a bad time?”...Absolutely PERFECT Mal, it is hard to capture him correctly but Jackal..you did good on this one.
“No, just getting thrown into a stupid story.” she sent Jesse an annoyed look. “REALLY stupid.”
They both looked into each others eyes. It was an awkward moment.
“To clarify, it was a job.” Grace said.
I loved this exchange, it was true firefly, and worked well.
You are a really, good writer, and I can only hope you'll continue on this great story..
Post Your Comments
You must log in to post comments.