Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

The Proposition

Monday, July 27, 2009

This is my first fan-fic. Actually, this is the first thing I've written since high school. Let me know what you think, and be as harsh as you want. I can take it. It's just a little short story that takes place after the BDM. I could make it into the beginning of a full fledged story, though.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2937    RATING: 10.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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After three worlds, two moons, and a couple of rundown space stations he’d finally found the man he was looking for in a seedy bar on some no name rock on the outer rim. The bar was past rundown. Looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since this poor excuse of a rock had been terra formed. It wouldn’t have even been here if it wasn’t for the docks. This place wasn’t more than a stopping point. Somewhere to refuel and buy supplies. Not the kind of place a person tried to settle down in. But this was just the kind of place to find a man like him. Out here on the edge of the ‘Verse, far from any Alliance patrol. At least that was the case a month ago. Now it didn’t really matter. These days, the Alliance didn’t make it far past the core worlds. No sense in trying to control the whole ‘Verse when you can’t even keep your own home in check.

He saw him sitting alone at the end of the bar. Walking up he signaled the bartender for a drink and took the stool next to the man. He looked up and watched as images of riots flashed across the vidscreen above the bar. “Look at them. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. But do they really think this will change anything. Riots. Calls for emergency elections. Leave it to the core worlds to try and fix bureaucratic go-se with more bureaucratic go-se.” He paused and looked to see if the man was even paying attention. He could tell the man had no interest in what he was saying. He had to be upfront. “You changed everything. You know that, right? One transmission and the entire Alliance is turned upside down. Some call you a hero. Others, a terrorist. So tell me, Captain Reynolds, how do you see yourself these days?”

“You seem to have me at a disadvantage,” Malcolm Reynolds raised his drink and finished the glass and while motioning the bartender for another, he turned toward the man and said, “which leads me to believe you have a reason for being here at this bar, sitting in that seat. So tell me, why shouldn’t I get up and walk away right now?”

“The

Comments
Monday, 27 July 2009 23:40
:) *Jayne-esque* Saw that comin'.

It was good, just the right response Mal should have had to that. Yeah, that guy isn't fighting for a cause, he's fighting to cause violence and mayhem against the Alliance, and isn't too particular whether his targets end up hitting innocent civilians.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009 02:57
I enjoyed this very much. Mal was very practical and watching the vid with a weary soldier's eye showed a side of him rarely expressed. Very well done for a first fic. Loved the definition between a soldier and a terrorist. Looking forward to more.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009 07:50
Post-BDM scenario, Mal's motivation and some BDH action: I found this convincing and well-written for a first fic or any fic. Excellent job.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009 10:39
So glad Mal didn't fall for that proposition and at least now he will take make a message that means 'no' in any gorram language. I don't think this needs more, it is all neatly wrapped up in on hit but another story would be very welcome. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"
Tuesday, 28 July 2009 10:39
Ooops, I meant to say 'he will take back a message'. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"
Tuesday, 28 July 2009 12:33
Really good. You've got the weary-Mal down perfectly, and as Katesfriend says, it's important to differentiate between soldier and terrorist. From this story, the Alliance will fall, but what might be interesting is what takes its place. As they say, the more things change the more they stay the same ...
HISBAOBEI
Tuesday, 28 July 2009 13:40
"I could make it the beginning of a full fledged story..." Yes! Yes!Please?
Wednesday, 29 July 2009 21:23
lol He pays for the mess with the other guys money, that is typical of Mal. lol.
Thursday, 30 July 2009 00:06
Nicely done and it opens a good story line possibility. The tone for Mal was spot on and I liked the idea that folks became angered once they found out about the Alliance's "closed file" jobs. I say run with it. You have a good begining.
Thursday, 30 July 2009 17:20
AdmiralIronwing, I was actually going for a Mal version of the Star Wars cantina scene after Han shoots Greedo. I couldn't resist

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