Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL
A Poem for River
Sunday, May 10, 2009
This poem is another description of River's experience
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 2817 RATING: 8.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Attacking, not stopping
she wants to talk.
Mouth wide, teeth white and bare,
she wants to talk.
She flies with knives on her finger tips;
there was a siege.
Her face has been changed by all this:
it looks like ivory, it looks like a cloud.
It looks like a Gothic cartoon.
She thinks she may die at any moment
and this is
her last chance.
Every moment is her last chance.
Comments
Sunday, 10 May 2009 20:55
One of the problems with having your amygdala cut on would be the constant, uncontrollable, primal fear.
I think you've captured that, and it also feels like you've brought that into a little moment study of when she's fighting the Reavers (that mention of the siege).
I think you've captured that, and it also feels like you've brought that into a little moment study of when she's fighting the Reavers (that mention of the siege).
Sunday, 10 May 2009 23:22
Direct and to the point. I am not well schooled in poems so I cannot grade you on format because I don't know much about formats other than they exist. The cadence sounds right when I read your poem though.
TRAINBANDIT
Tuesday, 05 July 2011 00:32
I know this is year late, but thanks for your comments. I had fun with this. What I meant by siege was a double entendre: both the siege in River's mind, and the real siege on Mr. U's moon. TB
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