Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA

Destiny: Ch. 1 - Running Out of Patience

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

The crew of Destiny takes a job on Whitefall, not realizing that the job is not as innocent as it seems...

I am re-posting this story with some updates. Let me know what you think!

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 6086    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Whitefall

When Etris Kurdian stepped out of the warehouse and into the blinding sun, the first thing he noticed was that the street that had been bustling with people twenty minutes earlier was now empty and silent. The second thing he noticed was the loud gunshot accompanied by a bullet that tore into his shoulder, spinning him around and planting his face in the dirt. The third thing was the odd thought that he now had a hole in his favorite jacket.

He hit the ground hard and his mind suddenly focused on the pain that radiated in waves from his shoulder. Behind him, his XO had already dived back inside the sliding doors, using the building walls as cover from the unseen assailant.

Well, maybe unseen wasn’t the word.

Kurdian lifted his head painfully and caught sight of the shooter in a second floor window across the street, lining up for another shot. Kurdian rolled as the gun fired again, and with a sing the bullet whipped past his head. His instinct took over then; he looked above his head at the overhang twenty feet above him and looked for the supports for the structure. He saw the two wooden pillars and rolled for the nearest one. Another shot rang out and another bullet whizzed by him, missing his right side by less than six inches. Way too close for comfort.

Gritting his teeth against the pain in his shoulder, he kicked out hard with his legs, pushing against the pillar and propelling his body backwards through the open warehouse doors. It proved to be a smart move, as three more bullets peppered the ground where he had just been laying.

“Captain!” Rian Reese grabbed Kurdian’s good arm and pulled him the rest of the way inside. He yelped in pain as dirt dug into his wound, but he knew that Rian had needed to get him inside fast.

“Thanks,” he gasped as soon as he was behind cover. She nodded in response, helping him sit before taking a closer look at his shoulder.

“How is it?” he asked. “Worse than on Florida Moon?”

She chuckled just like he knew she would. “Close to that,” she repli

Comments
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 08:28
I don't recall reading this before so I'm coming into it fresh--read quite well, good pacing, interesting characters drawn well and with some depth to them written in a smooth, economical way. And Patience and the Blue Hands--what's not to like with that ;-)
Thursday, 04 November 2004 19:29
WOW!!!

(I've seen this online and been meaning to look at it for a while now. I'm glad I've finally got around to reading it.)

This is great stuff SoS.

I loved the characters straight away. (Spooky is my favourite.) The dynamics between the crew members are really good. The chemistry was interesting and fun.

I have to agree with Guildsister. The story was well paced. (The gunfight at the beginning was a great hook into the story. Great discription of the action.)

I loved the dialogue sequence with the sheriff. The Hands of Blue were creepifying too!

I'm gonna read the other chapters now. Keep up the shiny work!
Friday, 26 November 2004 08:49
It does move along better than the first, and the ending definitely makes you want to go to the next chapter. I want a little more physical description on the crew, but that's just me...

Keep flyin'

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