Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA

ReBirth - 3 - Soul

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Soul begins his search for the remaining information smuggler, but without any results. He goes to visit an old friend for help, but the results are not what he expected, and Mal recieves a strange message from a mysterious source asking about the livelihood of a dead man...

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 4521    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Aboard Sangre de Angeles

In the Black

Soul sat in the command chair— his command chair--aboard his ship. When Damon Talos had told him he had a ship waiting for him, Soul hadn’t expected to cross through the airlock into his own ship. He was more expecting the cheapest thing Talos could find; despite their seemingly limitless budget, the Parliament still insisted on cutting corners whenever possible. Instead, he found his girl, and the even greater surprise was the great shape she was in. Talos had even had her updated with the latest tracking equipment. It was a surprise, to say the least. It was also a warning: for Talos to spend that kind of money on upgrades, it meant that this current thorn in the Parliament’s side was causing much more pain than a thorn should.

With a groan, he stretched, fighting to keep his eyes open. He had been at this for three days straight, monitoring the Cortex using his eyes and his implant, and it was beginning to wear him a bit thin. Trying to find someone without so much as a name or a face was making his implant work to the full extent of its design specs, hence the brain-splitting headache.

Oh, the implant . Soul chuckled as he rubbed the spot behind his left ear, the small nub that identified the location where those fancy Blue Sun surgeons had inserted the cortical interface and made him into a walking, talking Cortex link. It made his life a bit easier, being able to pull up information on the Cortex using his mind; anything from planetary satellite pictures, to criminal profiles, to the specials at the local diner. Yup, it made things rather interesting.

He could also use it to interface with any electronic device, which he did now to prepare the shower in his room. As much as he tried, Soul simpl

Comments
Thursday, 16 February 2006 21:49
:D Shiny goodness!

This line is kind of a loaner, btw ‘Self, if I ever see that Soul again, I’ll be gorram sure to kill him for bringing that down on me and mine.’

My dad used to make us laugh, saying stuff like that. He never used gorram, of course, but still... wouldn't it have been shinyif he did?

Still can't wait to see where this goes!
Friday, 17 February 2006 15:28
Well now, looks like Soul's got himself a bit of a situation...and there you was thinkin' it was a bakery. :D lol

Anyway, the story so far is shiny. Looking forward to where you guys take this tale of...stuff. Yeah. Looking forward to the update.
Friday, 17 February 2006 15:34
*Claps hands together in applause.*

Excellent work!

Where to start... 0.o

THE LEVEL OF DESCRIPTION: I could picture the market place perfectly in my mind. Loved the way that you described it; from all the kinds of things on sale, to the size of the place.

The description throughout was perfect. The blending of the Soul's thoughts, along with what he was seeing, made it feel really atmospheric.

Also,I enjoyed Soul's encounter with the blonde woman. A nice, tense, playful and sultry moment! The dialogue with Hagan was great too.

The last section between Mal and Zoe was spot on. I could imagine a scene like that happening between these two.

Great cliffhanger ending too! I've missed them!

A nice solid piece of writing again! Look forward to part 3!

- Cos.
Friday, 17 February 2006 15:42
Well, you can thank CHannain for Hagan's dialog. She was a BIG help with the syntax!!
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 17 February 2006 19:20
Well Soul I have to say that this is the best piece of Fanfic I've ever read.

Seriously, it did not read like the work of a fan, but a best selling author.

Your use of descriptions is excellent (as CosmicFugitive has rightly pointed out); the characters you've created are well written; and even though I wasn't expecting you to bring in the crew of Serenity this early (I assumed they would be secondary characters you'd meet along the way), they too were true to the ones Joss created

I loved the scene with the "sultry" blonde - it reminded me of a femme fatale in a Raymond Chandler/Dashiell Hammmett novel (and I'm a big fan of those detective stories)

I've also got to mention the reference to Simon's "exercises" - now that was funny!

All in all, this was a great read and I eagerly look forard to the next part.

If there's one criticism though, it's a little TOO good. Honestly, how are other fanfic writers meant to keep up the same standards?
:)
At least you've inspired me to put more effort into mine

Friday, 17 February 2006 19:22
*points up*

That anonymous was me - I was timed out reading your fic!
Friday, 17 February 2006 23:29
WOWEE!! Most excellent!!

Everybody has said what I was going to say. You definitely have a knack for writing that I can only aspire to.

Keep at it!
ANNAPOLISA
Monday, 20 February 2006 20:50
This is fantastic! I'm not a big fan of fanfic, because few people can actually nail the dialogue (me included, were I to try, I'm sure) - but you and Werz--- really have it. Your 'Verse is excellent and so far your characters are great! Can't wait to read more.

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