Firefly, Serenity, and all related proprietary characters are the intellectual property of Joss Whedon and corporations with whom I have no affiliation. Said property does not belong to me, and the fictional story below is of my own creation. (I don’t own ‘em, just like to play with ‘em!)

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Jayne was still lifting when River entered the cargo bay. Walking down the steps from the catwalk, River stepped behind the bench to stand behind Jayne, looking down at his head. “He should not lift so much weight without a spotter, dangerous.”

Jayne had been so engrossed in counting out his last set that he hadn’t noticed River’s approach. “Whoa, where’d you come from? Do you have some overwhelming desire to see me get spaced? You shouldn’t be down here by yourself with me, people are like to get the wrong idea, and I’ll be taking a walk outside without a suit.”

River straightened up for a moment, apparently staring off into space. “He need only concern himself with the males. The females might be alarmed, but they will respect the girl’s ability to choose her own company. Doesn’t matter right now, chuán zhăng and piào liang fū ren are in the kitchen, quickly becoming intoxicated. Nǚ zhàn shì is on the bridge, trying to find buyers for the gun scopes. Gē ge and jiě jie are in his bunk… I thought jiě jie was mad at gē ge, why would she...” River wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Oh… that won’t be pleasant for him… jiě jie can be evil when she’s mad.” River giggled for a moment before snapping out of her trance, and grabbed the bar from Jayne’s hands, effortlessly lifting it into its holder. “Told you, not safe, can’t let you be crushed to death. The girl won’t let them space you, not your fault that she needs supervision. Besides, this girl needs your help.”

“Huh? How’d you do that? With all the weight I got on it, that bar has to be more than that gorram case, must be twice what you weigh.” Jayne sat up and swung his legs around to sit