Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Trials and Redemptions: Chapter 1 - Concern

Monday, April 21, 2008

Please read the entry in my profile before beginning to read this story. I feel the introductory explanatory note was too large to insert at the beginning of Chapter 1.

Everyone's worried, but not about the same things...

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1539    RATING: 8.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Firefly, Serenity, and all related proprietary characters are the intellectual property of Joss Whedon and corporations with whom I have no affiliation. Said property does not belong to me, and the fictional story below is of my own creation. (I don’t own ‘em, just like to play with ‘em!)

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Serenity had certainly seen better days – the crash landing on Mr. Universe’s moon caused damage to almost every major electrical system, as well as significant scarring on the hull. The crew fared no better – aside from Jayne and River, everyone had sustained injuries leaving them hospitalized for at least a week. The bullet that pierced Jayne’s shoulder had gone through cleanly and River’s wounds were mostly superficial lacerations, but the others had not been so fortunate. The darts which struck Kaylee carried a strong toxin, leaving her temporarily paralyzed from the neck down until the poison could be cleansed from her blood. The Reaver’s weapon that sliced through Zoë’s back was coated with a similar toxin. Simon had been shot in the stomach, and the bullet caused significant internal bleeding. Inara broke four ribs during her encounter with the Operative at the training house, and re-aggravated the injury in the fight at Mr. Universe’s moon. Worst of all the injuries were the ruptured spleen and kidney, and the broken wrist and arm, suffered by Mal at the hands of the Operative; the two surgeries to repair the tears and breaks took the better part of two days, and Mal was supposed to be confined to bed-rest for at least three weeks, although Mal being Mal, said bed-rest would end up being nine or ten days.

Jayne was completely unnerved, but at the same time, he knew it was time for him to do right by the people who had done right by him. The very first thing he did after his shoulder wound was stitched shut was find the Operative. Standing on top of a building overlooking the crash site, the Operative seemed to know who was approaching without turning to face the mercenary. “My qu

Comments
Monday, 21 April 2008 11:24
I was very pleased to see Kaylee sticking up for River when Simon over reacted at the funeral. About time someone did that and she is probably the best one to get over to him that his over protective nature is more obssession than healthy concern. Ali D
You can't take the sky from me
Monday, 21 April 2008 13:03
well i like this just fine - so far:) the voices are strong in places and the prose is pretty efficient:) You get the lingo, something i always struggle with.
Monday, 21 April 2008 17:44
I am enjoying this story line but for me persoanally...I find Simon's portrayal a bit stiff. I don't see him using her safe word at the funeral. They have been in many more awkward situations where he did not use it. I guss to em ere he seems to lack the compassion that is such a large part of him.
Having said that...I am looking forward to more chapters. Your dialog is very strong.

gentle journey,
twi
Monday, 21 April 2008 21:46
I liked it as a whole. But like Twilight Simon seemed a bit to lacking in compassion, to how he was after the series and movie. But just a opinion.
GA1661
Wednesday, 23 April 2008 20:53
Not surprising... I can understand re: Simon's behavior, and this actually will be addressed in a later chapter. But to be fair, I thought well-intentioned screw-ups were Simon's specialty, and his actions at the funeral might very well fall into that category. After that though, I might have gone a bit over-board, especially in the shuttle. However, I promise there's a good reason! :)
Thursday, 26 June 2008 14:23
frack - sorry, i had to go back and re-read, back up to speed, this is not a story i wanted to lose track of! fine stuff:)

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