“He ain’t let her out of his sight.”

“No.”

“What’s he afraid of?”

“That she’ll do it again.”

Jayne shook his head. “Can’t help feelin’ like it’s my fault.” He lay back on the bed, watching River get undressed. Since Caleb she’d been exercising gently, doing some weights and more dancing in the dark after everyone had gone to bed, and her body was now back to its usual litheness. Not that he was thinking about her naked flesh appearing. At least, not with any conscious part of his mind. “If’n I’d been a bit quicker, I might’ve been able to get to that knife ‘fore Ethan even got down to the bay.”

River sighed, turning in the light to look at her husband. “How?” she asked simply.

“Don’t know. Done something. Maybe got that fool of a guard’s attention better, maybe … hell, maybe even got it in my teeth, like one of Bethie’s pirates.”

She unclipped her hair so it fell around her shoulders, her face. “And Sadie would have shot you.”

“P’raps,” he growled. “But I coulda made a difference. Not let that boy see what his Ma had to do.”

“She had no choice.”

“Ain't saying she did. And you know I ain’t. Just … River, if Caleb has to see something like that, see us taking folks down like we have to sometimes … ain't sure how I’d take it.” He put his hands behind his head. “Just wish I coulda done something.”

“There are too many what if’s on board this ship already,” River said, sliding into the bed, fitting her form along his, as if they were one being, one mind, both more than the sum of their parts. “What if Mal hadn’t landed Serenity at Eavesdown that day? Simon wouldn’t have taken passage, I wouldn’t have woken up on board, and everything would be changed. Wash and Book would still be alive, the Alliance would never have let the Miranda information out, and Mal would be …” Her voice faded.

He looked down at her. “Be what?”

“Harder. Not Mal. Miranda gave him something to fight for, but Freya gave him something better – a reason to live.”

“Ya mean Inara wo