Blue Sun Room FICTION - HUMOR

Inara Serra’s Travel Guide for the young Companion

Monday, February 18, 2008

Inara pens a Travel Guide for young Companions who might desire to see the 'verse as she did. It sort of strays off topic, however.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3138    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Inara Serra’s Travel Guide for the young Companion

Author owns no rights to Firefly, and no copyright infringement is intended. Fanfic only.

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I decided that it was time for me to leave the House for a while, and perhaps see some of the ‘verse. It was an opportunity for me to expand my client base as well, something no Companion should turn a blind eye to. There are many times when good contacts are a boon to the Companion, aiding not only herself, but others as well.

I looked at my options for a good while, before opting to rent/lease space on an already working vessel, rather than acquire one of my own. In retrospect, this may have been a mistake.

In truth, many ship Captains are delighted to have a Companion on board, as it gives them a sense of legitimacy, and often opens core worlds to them that otherwise are difficult to land upon. Thus not only are they making money by leasing you space, they are, themselves, profiting by your presence. This is something to keep in mind as you negotiate rates.

I learned several lessons the hard way, in not seeking advice from others before setting out on my own. These are a few of the things I have learned, and hope they will aid you as you travel, should you decide to do so.

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1) Never lease a shuttle from a man who calls you a whore. A Companion is not a whore. Never forget that.

2) Do not stoop to the levels of those you may find yourself flying with. Many of them are certain to be crude, even lewd. Some will be abrupt, even hateful. Always respond with composure.

3) Never contract with the crew of the vessel on which you are traveling.

4) Never offer to help the Captain with anything. He’ll likely insult you, and refuse your offer. Especially if he’s the Captain of a near derelict freighter whose design name is derived from an insect.

5) Avoid ships with mercenaries, especially tall, loathsome, well-muscled ones. That simply insist on working out in plain view of the entire crew, and going about in sleeveless sh

Comments
Monday, 18 February 2008 17:52
LOL! Tres amusant! I like #17 and #20 best! Inara seems like the kind of girl who might make lists.





found a typo, though, at the end there - "Buddha" - lol
Monday, 18 February 2008 18:27
YAY! I was waiting for this one and I wasn't disappointed :) I liked rule 17 too but "And if all else fails, just kiss the hundan and hope for the best. It’s what I did." was definately my favourite!!

Keep flying ;)
Monday, 18 February 2008 18:39
Hilarious and a potential best seller, yeah, she got a little side tracked in her travels.
Monday, 18 February 2008 20:06
Numbers 17 and 20, always follow those two rules!
Monday, 18 February 2008 21:10
Fantastic, and oh so true.
Tuesday, 19 February 2008 09:07
'nother type: lude should be "lewd" unless you're talking about ERarth-that-Was drug culture refs, in which case there's an apostrophe before the "l". But other'n that, a fun read.
Tuesday, 19 February 2008 11:19
I got distracted about rule 5, myself.
Tuesday, 19 February 2008 13:38
Ah, rules to live by...until you don't, that is! LOL Great fun! :D
Tuesday, 19 February 2008 13:39
Ah, rules to live by...until you don't, that is! LOL Great fun! :D
Thursday, 21 February 2008 03:04
Hee hee, this is great. I am partial to the way she wrote #10. And I always seem to forget #7.

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