A/N - River/Jayne, post BDM (if you read it just so, all squinty-eyed and such, you might could see pre-Rayne). Anyhow, so I was just sitting there and suddenly I was reminded of how Jayne was an awful like "The Cat That Walked By Itself" from the Just So Story by Rudyard Kipling. I struggled with how to put it to words for about 4 days. I got a headache, my eyes hurt. Went and laid down a spell… woke up with this burning a hole in my brainpan. Hope you enjoy it. This is my first ever Firefly fic

A Just So Story

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“The tooth dulls,” River mournfully intoned from across the galley table.

That purt’ near startled Jayne into dropping Boo and the well-oiled rag he was cleanin’ her with. His large hands fumbled the gun for a brief second before recovering, and he glared across the table at her. “Gorram it, girl, can’t you see I’m busy?” Least he’d managed not to shout with surprise like he had last time she’d snuck up on him. Not that it woulda made much difference, seein’s how it was the middle of the night and the rest of the crew were snoozin’ away.

It just twern’t right, the way the moonbrained girl could sneak up on him, no matter where he was, or what he was doin’. If anyone was gonna be doing the sneakin’, it ought be him. Not that he did a heap o’ sneakin’, seein’s how he found it a lot more fun to just charge on in, guns blazin’. But still….

Worst part of it was, the crazy girl seemed to go out of her way to do the sneakin’ up on him. Like it were some kind of game or somethin’. There wasn’t hardly a day went by that he didn’t turn around and find her standin’ right there like she’d been there all along, when he knew she hadn’t. Or sittin’ right in front of him, hands neatly folded in her lap, starin’ at him with them big brown eyes, head tilted just so. Kinda like she was doin’ right now.

“Bit and gnawed too many bones, now it lacks bite for all it has no mouth,” River spoke again, a hint of sadness in her voice.

“Go hwong tong,” Jayne ir