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I. Butterflies and Big Words: River Tam

Kaylee Frye has an awful lot on her mind right now.

It's mainly 'cause she's not rightly sure what to be thinkin' of, all huddled in her engine room and seekin' refuge from the outside world. Usually, meanin' just a week before, before Miranda and death and the Reavers, Kaylee wouldn't have even had to question it. Her entire focus would've been on the shiny doctor with his shy smiles and bright blue eyes. And really, even now, Kaylee's brain is still whirrin' with thoughts of the handsome Simon Tam. But it ain't the good sorta thoughts, or even the warm, naughty ones they usually are.

'Cause all Kaylee can think about right now is those last few moments 'fore that gun shot tore right through Simon's gut.

The way he'd talked to her, all gentle and emotional. Kaylee ain't never heard no one sound so sincere in her life--no matter how addlepated the things Simon usually says come out, this one thing, the most important thing, had been about to come out just right.

And that scared Kaylee so much she'd gone and finished his sentence with something really and truly stupid. Sex. Sex ain't nothing but a real nice feelin' and no attachments after the fact. With Simon, even despite herself, Kaylee wants attachments. She wants 'em real bad.

That Simon likes her is expected. That he wants her is mighty gratifyin'. That Kaylee feels all those things but more is too out of this 'verse for words. It ain't supposed to be more than just sex and Kaywinnet Lee Frye may be a big 'ole scaredy cat, but she don't care--expectin' anything more than a roll in the engine room with Simon is just much too much.

Or maybe it ain't too much, maybe it's just what she's always wanted, and for the first time ever, Kaylee's more than a mite confused 'bout what she wants, and why it makes her belly twist and rumble.

"Kaylee?"

River's voice is quiet and clear, and it's that last part that actually gets Kaylee to turnin' around. As long a