On The Edge: Chapter 5
Thursday, February 15, 2007
The crew races off a planet they had landed on to render aid, and Mal finds himself with two extra passengers. Cannon pairings.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3498 RATING: 9.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
Sorry folks. Had a lot going on this week. Didn't expect it to take me this long to get the next chapter up.
Thanks to tamsibling and mal4prez for the beta.
Chapter 4 can be found http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=15287>; Here
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Chapter 5
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Mal was still barking orders into the comm as the mule pulled up the ramp and into the cargo bay. It wasn’t the first time they’d had to make a quick getaway, but it had been a while since it was an Alliance ship hot on their heels. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed River leap down, her feet landing on the deck with a dancer’s grace. Madeline waited for Simon to get out of the mule before holding her arms out so he could lift her down.
Vaulting easily over the side of the mule, Mal stopped beside Inara; he hoped that the worry in his eyes would make her swallow the vitriolic remark he knew waited on her tongue.
“Get to your shuttle, take the girl with you. This goes bad, I want you off this boat.”
“I’m not leaving, Mal.”
Madeline, having heard that she was to go with Inara, slid her hand into Simon’s and squeezed his fingers tightly. “Don’t want to leave. Don’t make me go.” Big brown eyes begged him and Mal didn’t envy Simon this situation. He’d have been tongue tied too. Tears formed in the little girl’s eyes as Simon knelt before her and wrapped his hands gently around her arms.
“I need to go to the engine room and help Kaylee,” he told the little girl. “Please go with Inara. She can keep you safe.”
Madeline’s bottom lip trembled as she asked, “Where’s my dad?”
As if in answer, the roaring engines of an antiquated hovercraft echoed in their ears as it roared into the cargo bay, barely slowing down enough to not slam into the aft bulkhead.
“Dad!” Madeline launched herself into her father’s arms as he exited the craft.
Zoe slammed her fist into the controls and the ramp began to lift as Jayne leapt out of the hover.
“Xiăo guǐ, I need to get up to the bri
Still..definitely entertaining stuff, Leiasky. Can't wait for more;D
BEB
Love your River in this chapter...getting the "spare Inara" scenario from Mal...not sure on the hostility toward Simon and Kaylee.
Has Kaylee outgrown her usefulness as ship's mechanic from Mal's POV?
I love your sprinkling of Star Wars references throughout the getaway - especially with River speaking to Serenity as Han so often spoke to the Falcon.
The tension between Simon and Kaylee worries me too. The whole scene in the infirmary, I was just holding my breath praying Simon would hug her (or Kaylee would hug him) so they'd know it was all right. Regardless of what Kaylee thinks, her body is changing and different and the stress she's been under, both physical and emotional, is not healthy for her or the baby.
I love Madeline, but you already know that ... I'm still not a fan of Aaron's. But of course, we'll see. I hope ch. 6 comes faster!
Okay, this story so far is probably some of your best work. From reading all your fics pretty much back to back, it's really clear in this one how much you've honed not only the characterisation but the dialogue - it seems every single line is important and that's the way it should be. I love all the relationships - hey, that's why I love Firefly - Mal and Simon in particular, and I like seeing the tension between Kaylee and Simon. So many fics have them get together and suddenly have everything be rosy - but I think it's a little foolish to believe the two could slip so easily into a 'perfect' relationship from the way they are in the show and movie.
Saying that, however, they better END UP in bliss, or I will....be slightly miffed.
I love this fic, love this chapter, update soon and keep it up :D
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Firstly, your characters and dialogue are spot-on, seriously. Everything flows perfectly, and I have no trouble picturing these scenes playing out in my head like a second movie. Your portrayal of the various dynamics between all the different characters is realistic and true to the show, which I think is really important, so yay for you!
You also have a real talent for writing, and do a really good job of engaging the reader - I feel every single emotion the characters are going through and I just get so enthralled in the story that I forgot it's not actually canon. But believe me when I say it definitely could be!
Btw, in this chapter I particularly liked the nod to Kaylee's line from the pilot. I'm so excited about finding out what happens next, and how Aaron and Madeline fit into the crew - I'm particularly curious about Aaron's history, because I'm still a bit iffy about him. And I can't wait to read about the events that lead to the ship crashing, and finding out the aftermath.
Keep up the great work, eagerly awaiting more!
1. Mal
2. Kaylee
3. River (Is she supposed to be channeling Wash on purpose? 'Cause I like it.)
4. Jayne
5. Simon
Inara and Zoë have smaller parts, ya-da, ya-da, blah; you know.
That little girl is starting to annoy me (as all children tend to do eventually). Still unsure of Aaron, though I'm warming up to him again.
Great chapter. Loved River, Mal and Zoe joking around while trying to escape the Alliance. Also really loved your Kaylee here--she has just the right amount of defiance/independence, especially when it comes to the baby.
I can't wait to see Simon and Mal come to blows. ;) I hope Kaylee tells off the both of them!
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