Mal stood and exited her shuttle wordlessly, not even pausing when she whispered his name again. Standing on the catwalk outside the door, he did what many people would mistake to be centering himself. In truth, Mal had just lost his center. So he did the only thing left to him. Shedding his recently rediscovered emotions, he became the Captain once more. Cold, utilitarian, calculating.
His feelings shelved, the Captain turned and walked back into Inara’s shuttle.
“Inara, whenever you want to hash out the payment for the Heart of Gold job, come see me on the bridge,” he muttered.
“Mal. Mal don’t…” Inara began.
Turning on his heel, he again exited the shuttle, ignoring the soft sobs behind him. Not just ignoring the sound, but not registering its meaning or the feelings contained within.
The Captain strode through his ship, basking in the silence of the black. So immersed was he in the simple comfort of riding in his own spaceship that he nearly ran over Kaylee as she emerged from some hatch unseen.
“Oh, ‘scuse me cap’n” came the chirpy mechanic’s greeting.
The simple presence of someone he held so dear brought Mal back from his meditative state. “Heard you and Wash were under fire whilst we were off making a stand at the heart of Gold. Gave them mercs quite the slip as I understand it.”
“Oh, it was nothing cap’n, just the standard bait and switch. Wash is just such good bait that the second part was easy.”
They stood eyeing each other in silence for a moment.
“Everything shiny, cap’n?” ventured Kaylee.
Giving this question more than his usual cursory thought, Mal finally landed on a noncommittal shrug.
“Well I need to make sure everything’s holdin’ together for takeoff. Where are we headed, by the way?”
“Forward, Kaylee, as always.” came his reply, and with that he stalked off towards the bridge.
Again Mal realized why Kaylee was so invaluable. Not because she was such a great mechanic, although on a ship like Serenity that certainly was a plus, but because she represented the best aspects of h
Kaylee is all of what Mal says she is: a kind, compassionate and loving free spirit who allows Mal to focus on the present and all that entails. She is what helps make Mal go forwards when things like Inara's news make him wanna curl up and lock out everybody.
Inara's got a long road ahead of her...ever after the BDM, I think. Mal's right when he thinks that he has to let her choose her own path under her own power. He's gambling with the outcome...but Mal ain't the type to force people to do anything 'less it was drastically necessary.
BEB
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