On The Edge: Chapter 2
Thursday, January 25, 2007
The crew lands on a war ravaged planet and renders aid. Cannon pairings.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3690 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Sorry for the delay in posting the next chapter. I've been really busy lately.
Thanks to everyone for their comments on the last two chapters. I'm glad you're still enjoying. There's a rollercoaster ahead so sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.
Thanks to tamsibling and mal4Prez for the beta.
Chapter 1 can be found http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=15039>; Here
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Chapter 2
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“Are there no medical facilities here?” Simon glanced up from where he’d just marked the forehead of yet another child with a ‘render no aid’ black X.
“If there are, they probably been destroyed along with the rest of the buildings,” Jayne glanced about the decimated town, wrinkling his nose at the bodies that littered the streets.
“Most like.” Zoe added, experienced eyes flitting around the unmarked battlefield.
“These are just children,” Simon stood, not bothering to brush the dirt off his pants. He glanced toward Mal, whose gaze was fixed on something far in the distance. “The Alliance destroyed these people because the Independents chose to use this world as a launching point?”
“Yup. This here’s the embodiment of the Alliance’ pledge to bring true civilization to every earth in the ‘verse.” The disgust was evident in Mal’s voice, but Simon was no longer listening.
As they rounded a building that had been reduced to rubble, the bodies that littered the street changed. Here, they were simply lying in prone positions, not a scratch on them.
“Tian xiao de,” Simon muttered as he knelt beside a fallen woman, the bundle in her arms as unmoving as she was.
“What?” Jayne’s eyes darted around the sand, confused.
Simon removed a device from his medical bag and pricked the woman’s finger. After waiting a few minutes for the results, he lowered his head and closed his eyes, taking deep, calming breaths. He ignored Mal’s demand to know what was going on until after he’d marked the all too familiar X on the foreheads of the mother and child.
“They
Of course I love Madeline, but I have a soft spot for little kid OCs. And is Aaron friend or foe - 'cause I'm a mite skeptical at this juncture!
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You can't take the sky from me
BEB
Yup, I'm guessing the guilt of that is near-overwhelming. Poor Mal. Very good--and disturbing--chapter.
The "so's we aint gonna be poisoned?"
clasic big ape...hilarious!
sorry. love this story so far...keep it up!
I always figured him as the type to work multiple shifts back to back. Great story.
1- Simon (You've pinned his doctor-ness. His flashback touching of Yang doesn't jive with me, but I can deal with it because it's only one line.)
2- Mal (His characterization here is perfect, especially his thoughts about "if he'd never released the Miranda broadwave". I don't think he would be soo sarcastic and bitter when talking about the Alliance, though.)
3- Zoe (Her characterization started out the strongest of all, but as the chapter kept going, the feel of her was weakened.)
4- River (Her slightly cryptic, lucid messages for me are exactly the way I see her character developing after the movie. I just didn't put her higher because she didn't have a big enough bulk of the story - less stuff about her, less to potentially mess up.)
5- Jayne (There's something lacking for me in his dialogue this time around.)
6- Kaylee (What little dialogue she has here was too rurally-accented for me. I don't doubt the characterization, but the dialogue just bothers me.)
7- Inara (For what little she had to say and do, I just wasn't satisfied with it. No offense or anything...)
Aaron feels like a person, which is good, and his daughter is good, too.
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