Mal was feeling shiney. For the first time in monthes Serenity's registration wasn't red with warning flags, the job had gone smooth with plenty of cash for food and parts. This morning all of the crew had been in a fine mood. He'd even managed to get in a few good words edgewise with Inara.

Yep, Mal Reynolds was damned content for a wanted man and for the first time in a long time.

*****

River stood stock-still in the kitchen. She searched for flaws in the table top. 'If I don't move, I won't go anywhere," she thought incoherently.

The wood was warmly colored as was the aura surrounding it. Warm and full of contentment, even her chair. There were no flaws in the glow, it pulsed and shone. It laughed and shouted loudly, unafraid and constant. But all around it, was a lining of pain. Especially -

River stood on the cargo bay catwalk.

"No!"

She began to cry. "I wasn't moving, I was barely breathing!" she sobbed to no one.

She wanted to fall down and melt into the floor. Become cold unfeeling metal, moving only when bidden. The thought comforted her. She let her imagination run, concentrating on the fantasy.

Wash would always be close at hand, his ghost curled around the pilots chair. Mal would guide her through the sky and Kaylee would tend to her heart and soul...but Kaylee had not been in the engine room lately. Her usual joy had dissapated and her thoughts were no longer safe to crawl into and be lifted by. She seemed as though everything was frayed and frantich at the edges. Her thoughts had things swimming in the undertow...things that bit.

But whatever they were, Kaylee kept them well hidden from herself and River had dared not breach her mind.

Now, as she listened to the ships fluttering heartbeat, a cold thread of misery pierced her chest. It pulled her toward the door of Inara's shuttle. It was cold to touch.

River put her cheek against the hatch. Inara's glow pulsed around a smaller one, a glow which seemed defeated but laced through it were golden glimmers, faint