Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Live by the sword, Die by the Sword

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The Operative learns the full extent of the Alliance's forgiveness, and the torch is past to another hunter with secrets of his own.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2968    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Live by the sword, Die by the sword.

Just a little bit of something I wrote when I was wondering what happens to the Operative post-BDM, what with the Alliance not being too big on forgiveness and all that.

Please don’t be mad if I get things really wrong, this is my first piece of fanfic.

Obviously I don’t own Firefly or the BDM and only Joss Whedon knows what really happened, this is just a bit of fun.

Hope that you like it. All comments welcomed,including criticism if its constructive.

Enjoy! :)

The bar was crowded, full of the seedy, unkempt individuals that only the border planets seem to attract. The Operative sat nursing a drink at a table in one of the bar’s shadier corners, chosen mostly because it was obscured from view by the thick clouds of somewhat dubious smoke rising from the table next to it. His hair had grown longer in the months following the events on Miranda and the beginnings of a beard covered his lower face. He was dressed in clothes that were little better than rags and covered in filth. In fact he looked more like a down-and-out farmer than a former Operative of the Alliance Parliament. It is doubtful that his superiors or former comrades would be able to recognise him, which was of course the whole idea. But he knew it wouldn’t be enough, and how right he was.

A shadow that had been hovering behind the Operative’s table for the last ten minutes finally resolved itself into the form of a man, who presently took the seat opposite the Operative and sat with his hands steepled in front of him, silently.

To see the two of them together was to see two polar opposites, both in form and ideal. Whilst the Operative was dark haired and dark skinned dressed in unkempt clothing, this newcomer had hair and skin so pale it was almost white. His hair was cut a little bit sort and was cut close into the nape of his neck. He wore a long ash grey tunic over a gray shirt and trousers, his feet were clad in gray riding boots, and in his head a pair of emerald eyes burned.

The Operat

Comments
Sunday, 12 November 2006 17:41
Oh no, this is ominous. No sooner do Serenity and her crew rid themselves of the Operative than another rises to take his place. Seems he learned nothing from watching the Miranda tape. Ali D
You can't take the sky from me
Sunday, 12 November 2006 18:21
Excellent! Very well paced and the fighting sequences were well written.

A few minor mispellings and grammar miscues...nothing that is not easily edited.

One pick: the operative's sword was a straight blade, not a curved 'katana' blade; makes more sense also if you are hiding in on your person like you did here (which I liked!).
Sunday, 12 November 2006 20:49
Reaver operatives! That's enough to give anyone nightmares.
Government Scientist: "OK, which one of you's been playing with the Pax? Aaughgrflm (thud)!"
Sunday, 12 November 2006 22:23
Oh...now that was gooood! Definitely some grade A dialogue and action, MrBlueSun...though like Arasta said, some small typographical errors;)

Definitely gotta wonder how the BDHs will deal with being hunted by an Operative with newly awakened Reaver behaviour though...

BEB
Sunday, 12 November 2006 22:30
"There is no shame in this death, the death of a man who has done great works--”

Very nice.
Sunday, 12 November 2006 22:49
My thanks to eveyone who has commented so far. Please keep it coming. All comments welcome and i'm truly grateful for the support. The more the merrier!
Sunday, 12 November 2006 23:58
I liked that, and the thought of a government using Reaver tactics is entirely plausible. Editing needs a bit of work, but overall a great first effort.
Monday, 13 November 2006 14:12
Agree with others on the editing, maybe get yourself a nice, friendly beta? There's a thread around the site here somewhere.

But I'm really not one to let grammar get in the way of a good story, and this was amazingly good for a first fic!

I like the idea of the Operative being done in by a former comrade, and BEB us right, the action is very well done.

In my humble opinion, it takes a lot of guts to put your work out there (Case in point: Me. I've posted one), and this is great!

Look forward to more.
Saturday, 23 December 2006 06:07
Very well written and a very interesting start. But on a down note, lots of type o's. You might want to consider a beta.

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