“How is she?” Kaylee asked, looking into the infirmary.

Simon smiled tiredly at her. “She’s going to be fine.” He glanced at the readings behind him. “She’s asleep. So’s Mal, I hope. Almost had to threaten him with a sedative himself before he’d go back to his bunk.”

“He cares about her,” Kaylee said simply, stepping closer to the bed. “She looks awful pale.”

“She lost a lot of blood.” He put his arm around her waist, feeling the skin between her top and her dungarees, tied as usual around her middle. It gave him the sweet rush of blood to his brain as usual. “But, I promise, she’s going to be fine.”

She nodded, her lips lifting a little. “I felt so useless,” she said at last. “All the time I was with Jayne and Zoe, all I could think about was getting back to Serenity, fixing her. And when I did …” She bit her lip.

“It was Mal’s idea. Not letting anyone come back for them.”

“But why?” she asked. “We’re family. Family looks after each other.”

“And he didn’t want anyone getting hurt. That’s why Freya wanted to go down there alone in the first place – to keep anyone from getting hurt.”

“But she did.”

Simon sighed. “I doubt she had that planned.”

“No, I think you’re right. But it still ain’t right.”

She looked so unhappy that Simon took her arm, steering her out of the infirmary into the common area. “Come on.” He made her sit down in one of the easy chairs, pulling another over so he was next to her. “It isn’t your fault.”

“I didn’t say it was!” she insisted.

“No, but I know you. You want everyone to be happy, don’t you?” He put his hand on her thigh.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, xin gan. So do I. But out here, if there’s one thing I’ve come to realise, it isn’t as easy as wishing.”

“I should have been able to fix that lockout easy as pie. But –“

“But Freya didn’t let you. That’s it, isn’t it?”

“What she did, how she did it, I couldn’t …” She shook her head. “And all the time you were out there, and I didn’t know what was happe