Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Betrayal

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

Next in the Mal/Freya/Inara saga ... adult themes! Feedback, please, as it helps!

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3833    RATING: 7.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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The fireworks exploded in all the colours of the rainbow, and even some that probably didn’t even have names. Shooting stars, rockets, clusters, bright lights filling the sky above them.

River clapped her hands in delight. “Oh, so pretty!” she said.

“Looks like they saved them up just for us,” Simon said to Kaylee.

“I think they did. What the Cap’n and Zoe and the others did for ‘em …” Kaylee shook her head. “Well, they’re grateful.”

Jayne took a pull on the jug and looked at Freya. “Where’s Mal?” he asked.

“Not sure,“ Freya said, taking a drink herself. “Around.”

“You two okay?”

“Shiny. Why?”

The big man shrugged. “Just seems to me like you’d normally be in each other’s pockets 'round about now. Partakin’ of some of this fine hospitality.”

Freya grinned. “We will. He’s probably talking business with someone.” She took another drink.

Jayne looked at her, her face all golden in the firelight. “You’re pretty,” he said suddenly.

“Why, thanks, Jayne,” Freya said, surprised.

“I mean, in the light ‘n’ all. How about me?” He lifted his chin, trying to look heroic.

Freya pretended to study him closely. “Jayne, you’re pretty too. In fact, you’re one of the prettiest men I know.”

Jayne looked at her. “So how about you and me getting some physical action under our belts?”

“Ain’t gonna happen, Jayne,” Freya said, sounding almost regretful.

“Aw, how come?”

“Because I love Mal, is why.”

“Well, I love Vera, but I ain’t only using her,” Jayne pointed out.

“I’m not a gun, Jayne.”

“Prettier’n Vera too.”

“I’m not sleeping with you, Jayne.”

He loomed forward at her a little. “Let you kiss me on the mouth,” he offered.

“And that’s a plus … how?”

“Aw, Frey. It ain’t fair.”

“That’s how it is, Jayne.”

“Well, guess I’ll just have to go back to dreamin’.”

“Dreaming what? And don’t leer at me.” She stood up. “I’m gonna find Mal.”

“Good luck,” the mercenary said. “If’n you don’t find him, my offer’s still ope

Comments
Tuesday, 03 October 2006 15:55
Interesting even though i like Freya's character i'm a Mal/Inara fan
Tuesday, 03 October 2006 15:59
Hmmm, I don't know if I buy that Mal and Inara would be so overcome by herbs as to sleep with one another, but then again, I'm sure there is stuff in the 'verse that powerful.

My heart broke for Freya - I think she might have relented a bit too fast, but it's hard to know how much time has really past. I'm just really glad she didn't sleep with Jayne for revenge!

Still love Freya and the dynamic she brings to the crew, especially M/I.
Tuesday, 03 October 2006 18:43
Wow...I am torn how to respond to this, Jane0904. Not because I think it's crap (cuz it's not!)...but I just feel like this whole chapter didn't take the cliched "reset button" plot twist in a realistic way concerning everyone.

You build up a mighty powerful scenario...and let it be a dream of River's that she prevents with a rather unsubtle attempt to distract Inara? I guess it works (like the Season 1 episode of "Angel" with the Mohra daemon) because River's aware of what "happened" and has to live with the fact that one moment of weakness and curiousity caused a massive rift to form amongst the crew. But I guess it comes down to feeling like River only delayed the inevitable moment when Inara finally gives in and admits to being all "Grr! Arrgh!" about Freya getting Mal and her own attraction to Freya and the split raises its ugly noggin for real:(

BEB
Tuesday, 03 October 2006 22:34
Hmm, did this remind anyone else of that scene in Dallas where it turned out Bobby dreamt it all up in the shower? When I first started reading this I stopped at the part where Mal and Inara were caught making out in the cabin by Freya, really upset that you would do that to them. Then I made myself read the whole thing and it was such a relief to have River save the day by preventing Inara going to Mal and thus starting off such a disastrous train of events. Ali D
You can't take the sky from me
Wednesday, 04 October 2006 08:00
Can I say I agree with some of the comments above - and I am the author! It worked when I read it, but even I was a trifle worried about the cliche ... but I needed to resolve it for the next part to come up, without any hangover angst. The only way I could figure of having the first part (which is the better) was to have it being a dream ...
Monday, 25 February 2008 04:30
I loved how you made it a dream of River's or whatever.....I was so sad, because Inara seemed to have been dealing with Mal and Freya's relationship.
Saturday, 19 April 2008 20:07
I really like your stuff. I've said so in comments for other stories. But I strongly dislike how Inara has been portrayed in some stories. I'm not saying she couldn't be vengeful or duplicitous, but I think Inara would over think it to the point of madness. And thus the herbs come in. I like the story. I even enjoyed the angsty, Jayne gets to be the better man part. I especially enjoyed that River got to keep it all from happening.

Peace and blessings.

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