Broken Trust: 3/3
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Mal gives away Inara's secret and Jayne has a conversation with Simon, Kaylee and Book. *takes place post OiS and before the film*
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3624 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Previous chapters can be found here:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=13170>Chapter 1
http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=13183>; Chapter 2
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Chapter 3
“How is it you don’t look too surprised over this news, Preacher?” Mal asked, ignoring Wash and Book’s question.
The Shepherd shrugged, not wanting to appear too knowledgeable about such things. “I just had a feeling something like this would happen, is all. I wish I’d been wrong.”
“Me too,” Mal sighed, rubbing his bandaged arm.
“I’m rather insulted myself,” Wash turned Zoe. “You’re my wife. We don’t keep secrets.”
Zoe raised an eyebrow. “You definitely don’t want to go down that road, husband.”
Wash winced, knowing his wife was right, and turned to Mal. “Crew should have been told about this.” He looked around, hoping to find some support – at least from his wife.
“I made the decision I thought best at the time.” Mal was growing tired of having to defend his actions. He was the Captain. What he said was not to be contradicted – except by this crew.
“Well, we all know how well your decisions have served us in the past,” Inara said as she walked into the room. She’d been standing in the entry way listening to their conversation until she grew frustrated enough to join in.
“Well, you won’t be havin’ to live with ‘em for much longer, seein’ as you’re gettin’ off at the next stop.” Mal gnashed his teeth, instantly regretting his quick comeback. What was it about this woman who could get under his skin quicker than a dust mite?
Inara closed her eyes and muttered a few choice curses beneath her breath. She hadn’t told the crew that she’d decided to leave yet.
If looks could kill, she’d have sent Mal to an early grave.
Without another word, she walked out of the room and back to her shuttle, waiting until she’d arrived and closed the door before screaming obscenities that would have curled even Jayne’s toes.
River frowned at Mal and fol
“I believe he did.”
Wash turned and smiled a big, wide Kaylee smile at Mal. “I love my Captain.”
ahhh, i love your wash!
okay so i didnt comment on these parts individually because i was 'gathering my thoughts' lol. overall, i really liked it. i thought it could easily dissolve into jayne bashing, but it didnt do to much of that. i think everyone's reactions were very accurate--kaylee and wash would be the most upset, zoe and book not all that surprised. loved mal's hurtful words about inara leaving--so in character in that they wound each other without trying. i maybe wish we'd had a longer private scene between kaylee and jayne, but liked the one between her and simon. this story makes me wish for eight more episodes between OIS and the BDM. sigh :(
you almost made me want to forgive Jayne for the whole thing, almost.
Definitely loved your Mal/Inara and Kaylee/Simon moments, as they were spot-on for where the characters were at the time this story would be set. Got to agree with Mal though...not really fair for him to keep secrets that will do emotional harm to others, even if I ain't jonesing on how he blurted it out. I agree totally with Kaynara that how you had it come out (and their fight) is how Joss & co. would have handled the moment.
BEB
Also, love the moment between Mal and Inara in the shuttle. It's just long enough for us to see how truly wrecked they are by all the other person is doing and not doing to get them to stay/go. And of course, the awkwardness between S/K in the infirmary at the end is terrific - you write their awkwardness and their uhm ... "non-awkwardness" with the same kind of aplomb - it makes me highly jealous!
So, what's next?
You can't take the sky from me
~ I'm a little confused. Does he actually think she knew about it beforehand (I thought she mentioned in a previous chapter that she didn't)
“No, I’m thinking upsetting Serenity’s girls is your job today.”
~ Wash is so very spectacular
The exchange with Wash, Mal, and Zoe regarding the death threat, the breaking of arms, and the orders for sex were wonderful.
Everyone knew when she was happy or sad, angry or hungry.
~ hungry? LOL
“When you’ve been to hell and back, you learn a lot along the way.”
Book excused himself and stepped away toward the weight bench, leaving Jayne staring after him with a mixture of awe and disbelief across his face. One of these days that man was going to spill his secrets.
~ This of course makes me sad, since he died before we got to hear any of those stories. Good little bit of mystery to throw in at the end here (thinking about it, Book and Jayne
could have some conversations after the series and comics but before Book goes to Haven about it, hmmmm, story ideas [if I can ever get myself into the writing again, been more'n a
month, though the training and subsequent catching up on fanfic, which comes to an end today, has kept me from it])
“Not so good with the talkin’ sometimes, but you’re gettin’ better.” *She's always the forgiving type, be that Simon, Mal, or even Jayne, and this little quip...just her to say it, like she is proud that his doctor speak is starting to be replaced by a tongue she more easily understands.
“Don’t mean I won’t be re-routin’ the temperature and grav controls in his bunk next time he does something like this.” *LOL really funny, and I want to see Jayne start to float off his bunk, get hot, cold and try to figure out why its happening. Really funny!
“Just funnin’ with ya, Simon. Not mad ‘bout that no more.” *great tie-in to the BDS, I liked it. AND She flounced *Such a Kaylee verb to use!
“Everyone has a path to walk in this life, Jayne. Mistakes to make and atone for. I can be neither judge nor jury.” *Loved Book here, you wrote him well, calm, cool, instructive and matter of fact. Very, very good job, and totally believable.
Great series here, great idea, and you did a wonderful job of putting type to this page!
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