Broken Trust: 2/3
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Jayne has a conversation with the crew about his actions while an unlikely person comes to his defense. *post OiS, pre movie*
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3425 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Thanks for all the reviews on the first chapter! I wasn't sure how it would go over as I wasn't really happy with it. But as I started to write, I began to enjoy this scenario much more.
A lot of your guesses as to what will happen are really off the mark, and I'm pretty proud of that. It's no fun when people guess what's going to happen in a story! :)
Anyway, here is part 2. As always, thanks for reading and thanks to Tamsibling for the beta.
Part One can be found http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=13170>Here.
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Chapter 2
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“You turned them in?” Book asked, his face betraying none of his surprise at this revelation.
“Simon knows?” Mal asked.
“And you’re still alive?” Wash asked, incredulous.
“Could be that won’t be the case for much longer,” Zoe fingered the sidearm at her hip and glanced to Mal for approval. She frowned when he shook his head.
“We came to an understandin’,” Jayne said, proud of himself even though he knew he’d resisted everything Simon had to say that day.
“You came to understand the doc could kill you with a needle and no one would ever determine the cause, hmm?” Book smiled a creepy, knowing smile that none of them bothered to dwell on for too long.
“Would they want to?” Wash asked his wife, the look on his face one of genuine curiosity.
“Hah, funny.” Jayne scowled at the pilot.
“So he already knows,” Mal said, rubbing his jaw. Never thought the boy would be one to keep his own counsel regarding this subject but Mal had been wrong about the doc before. Kid continued to amaze him.
“Moonbrain does too.”
Wash’s jaw fell open as he repeated, “And you’re still alive?”
“You’re starting to sound like a broken record, dear.”
Wash stared at Zoe. “Well, wouldn’t you?” His eyes narrowed. “You don’t look surprised.” He turned to Mal. “She doesn’t look surprised.” More to himself, he muttered, “I should be worried that she’s not surprised.”
“A broken what?” Jayne asked Zoe.
~*~
Ri
I continue to love the interplay among all the crewmen. The S/K scene is of course my favorite, because it shows them interacting in such a way that you could see the building of what comes to pass in the movie. And it just shows how unbelievably upright Simon is when he defends Jayne - and didn't tell anybody what he'd done. He is a good man and I think that is in ample evidence here.
Even though I've read part 3 - I can't wait until you post it!
Tamsibling is right; Simon IS a good man. One of the best men ever. I'm half in love with him myself......
I want him to be MY big brother!
You can't take the sky from me
"Yet." One word, summing up everything that needs to be known. I think Mal needs the brain bleach now.
And the River foreshadowing? Utterly fantastic, Leiaksy! Definitely could picture Summer/River getting Nathan/Mal riled up with that comment:D
BEB
Wash stared at Zoe. “Well, wouldn’t you?” His eyes narrowed. “You don’t look surprised.” He turned to Mal. “She doesn’t look surprised.” More to himself, he muttered, “I should be worried that she’s not surprised.” *This is one of the best Wash lines I've heard, I like him particularly in this fic. You've wrote him as good as Joss could.
“Sure she did. Moonbrain was right outside, threatenin’ to kill me with her brain,” Jayne huffed. *Great Jayne boy here, and I've always loved him saying Moonbrain.
“Well, hello Captain Obvious.” Wash rolled his eyes. *another fabulous Wash line there.
“Ah!” Mal threw up his hands and shook them at River, completely missing the implication that he would eventually be doing that very thing with their clothing. “That ain’t a topic I ever wanna hear comin’ out of your mouth, dong ma?” *And Mal, visions of the BDM, written in a different form, wonderful us of Mal's need to not hear references of copulations taking place no matter the form.
Great continuation, and 3 parts, very good. You have all the BDH voices in great form in this, but I really, really liked Wash.
“You’re starting to sound like a broken record, dear.”
And then the Jayne follow up-
“A broken what?”
Great lines for both of them! Can't wait to read part 3!
for too long.
~ Book freakin' rocks. Excellent line.
“Would they want to?” Wash asked his wife, the look on his face one of genuine curiosity.
~ Good followup line by Wash too
Ok, if I put every single one of my favorite lines in this feedback, I would basically be reposting your entire story. :)
“Yet?” Wash and Zoe asked at the same time, eyebrows raised.
~ BWAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!
And the idea of Simon's clothes clogging up Serenity's engine? Classic.
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