Mal had been in jail before, but never actually convicted. He considered himself lucky. Only this time maybe his luck had run out. Which didn’t worry him unduly, since he never relied on it. Having to rely on Jayne, though, now that was an entirely different kettle of fish.

...

“They don’t what?” Zoe asked, leaning on the back of Mal’s empty chair in the dining area.

“They don’t take kindly to women meddlin’ in men’s affairs,” the big mercenary said, then raised a hand at Zoe’s look. “Hey, I’m just tellin’ you like it is. Travis ain’t exactly a liberated town. They’re more into the belief that women oughta know their place, which according to them is either the kitchen or the bedroom.”

“I would’ve thought you felt right at home, then,” Zoe said darkly.

“I don’t got no problem with women doing a man’s job. Lessen it stops me doing mine.” Jayne leaned his chair back on two legs. “Anyway, they ain’t gonna listen to you.”

“This is insane,” Zoe said. “Doc, could you –“

“He ain't no better,” Jayne interrupted, not able to hide his good humour. “They think anyone talks like the doc is no better than a female. They figure he must be sly, or something, and they don’t look good on folks like that.”

“Really?” Freya said, staring at him. “I'm surprised you’re not considering staying.”

“Freya, I ain't got no problem with … that kinda thing either,” Jayne protested. “Leaves all the more tail for me.”

“You old romantic,” Inara said quietly, and Jayne glared at her.

“So what’s the alternative?” Freya asked, looking around the room.

“Hey,” said Jayne, slamming his chair back down onto all four legs. “I ain't never said I wouldn’t do it.” He scowled a little. “Just that it ain't gonna be easy.”

“It’s his own fault,” Simon muttered.

“Maybe it is,” Zoe said, having heard. “But it probably seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Well, they’re laughing their heads off,” Jayne said. “And he looks so pretty in that blue floral dress.”

...

It should have been smoo