Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL
A NEW DAY, ch. 10: Murphy's Law
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Set three months after A NEW BEGINNING. Kaylee's health takes a turn for the worse as the stress of Rylee's kidnapping and the twins' births hits home. River vows to get Rylee back, while Mal and Inara try to help their friends. S/K, R/J, M/I
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3299 RATING: 9.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
A/N: Thanks to everyone for the great comments on chap. 9. Rylee's story and the aftereffects of her kidnapping will be long and painful - just a warning.
Please, please continue to read and respond - feedback is like a drug ... and I'm addicted!
And thanks again to Leiasky for the beta.
***
A NEW DAY, ch. 10: Murphy’s Law
***
Regan found Simon with Kaylee, trying to comfort her daughter-in-law, although guessing by the tears and the pleading, it was a losing battle. Entering the room, they both looked up at her entrance and Kaylee immediately wiped her face, ashamed for her mother-in-law to see her in such a state.
Turning to face her, Simon kept an arm around Kaylee’s shoulders as he said quietly, “Mother, this really isn’t a good time.”
Frowning at him, Regan walked to the other side of the bed and sat at Kaylee’s side. Taking her hand, Regan pushed some of the girl’s hair back from her face and got a watery smile in return. Looking to her son, she told him, “I don’t think there’s going to be many ‘good’ times in the next few days, do you?” When he didn’t answer her, Regan leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Kaylee’s forehead. “Your babies are beautiful, my dear.”
Smiling weakly at her, Kaylee pulled away from Simon and hugged the woman. “I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered, hugging the woman fiercely. Meeting Simon’s gaze over the girl’s shoulder, Regan rubbed her back as Kaylee told her, “Please, tell him he can’t go.”
Her eyes widening, Regan pulled back from the girl and asked her son, “Go? Where exactly were you planning on going?”
Realizing that the two of them teaming up on him wasn’t fair, but being unable to do anything about it, Simon said, “Back to Osiris, on the shuttle father sends. I have to get Rylee.”
Kaylee sobbed again as he said the words, and Regan continued to rub a hand along her back, trying to soothe her. Giving him a stern look, Regan said, “Well, Kaylee’s right dear, you can’t go. That would be about the stupidest
Comments
Sunday, 24 September 2006 04:07
And the hits just keep on comin'.
I have no idea what plan Regan, Jayne, and River are hatching but I hope it involves large amounts of violence against Gabriel, who is so vile he makes my skin crawl. Seriously, what a pathetic, evil, cowardly, weak little b*stard. He deserves a disembowelment or maybe to be skinned alive or something, simply being shot dead wouldn't cut it.
I remember reading your little list of "teasers" for this fic before you started posting, which mentioned one of the BDHs will "make the ultimate sacrifice". At this point, I'm leaning heavily towards River. With how spectacularly everything has started to crumble, sacrificing herself to get Rylee back and get Gabriel out of their lives for good seems reasonable and the only way she could redeem herself in Simon's eyes. I'll be a little miffed no matter who dies, and right now River seems the most realistic choice, but we still have many miles to go in this journey.
There's one thing that's been bothering me that I haven't mentioned before. Kaylee just seems to come off wayyy too...clingy? Needy? Unhealithly attached to Simon? I don't know how to describe it. I realize she had the whole traumatic thinking he's dead thing, and now she's got crazy hormones, just had surgery, and had one of her kids kidnapped, but it's not like this is the first (or I imagine last) time she's practically had a meltdown at the mere *thought* of Simon even getting near Osiris, or leaving her side for perfectly acceptable reasons. I guess it's along the lines of thinking the women of the story spend way too much time crying. Kaylee's strong enough to survive without Simon (hell, even if she wasn't, she'd manage to do it just for her kids). All the women of Firefly/Serenity are mighty brave and can get through anything. Something about her weeping in terror at the thought of him leaving just doesn't sit right with me.
NEVERMIND the fact that she wants her daughter back, but doesn't want to lose Simon. She doesn't want him to leave to get Rylee but wants Rylee back ASAP. Talk about a bad situation all around. Catch-22 and all that.
Anyway, I'm rambling, and as always this is only my opinion and perspective which I'm sure someone will disagree with - as per usual. :)
Waiting for more.
I have no idea what plan Regan, Jayne, and River are hatching but I hope it involves large amounts of violence against Gabriel, who is so vile he makes my skin crawl. Seriously, what a pathetic, evil, cowardly, weak little b*stard. He deserves a disembowelment or maybe to be skinned alive or something, simply being shot dead wouldn't cut it.
I remember reading your little list of "teasers" for this fic before you started posting, which mentioned one of the BDHs will "make the ultimate sacrifice". At this point, I'm leaning heavily towards River. With how spectacularly everything has started to crumble, sacrificing herself to get Rylee back and get Gabriel out of their lives for good seems reasonable and the only way she could redeem herself in Simon's eyes. I'll be a little miffed no matter who dies, and right now River seems the most realistic choice, but we still have many miles to go in this journey.
There's one thing that's been bothering me that I haven't mentioned before. Kaylee just seems to come off wayyy too...clingy? Needy? Unhealithly attached to Simon? I don't know how to describe it. I realize she had the whole traumatic thinking he's dead thing, and now she's got crazy hormones, just had surgery, and had one of her kids kidnapped, but it's not like this is the first (or I imagine last) time she's practically had a meltdown at the mere *thought* of Simon even getting near Osiris, or leaving her side for perfectly acceptable reasons. I guess it's along the lines of thinking the women of the story spend way too much time crying. Kaylee's strong enough to survive without Simon (hell, even if she wasn't, she'd manage to do it just for her kids). All the women of Firefly/Serenity are mighty brave and can get through anything. Something about her weeping in terror at the thought of him leaving just doesn't sit right with me.
NEVERMIND the fact that she wants her daughter back, but doesn't want to lose Simon. She doesn't want him to leave to get Rylee but wants Rylee back ASAP. Talk about a bad situation all around. Catch-22 and all that.
Anyway, I'm rambling, and as always this is only my opinion and perspective which I'm sure someone will disagree with - as per usual. :)
Waiting for more.
Sunday, 24 September 2006 04:20
Sorry, I hit submit, by accident ...
Anyhoo, SBZ I really appreciate your comments and the amount of thought you've given to it ...
To be honest, I oscillated quite heavily between Kaylee being strong and stalwart and sending Simon away and being a wreck. Obviously I chose the latter, based on a few variables:
1. She's highly emotional, having just survived a high-risk pregnancy and surgery.
2. There is every reason to believe that if Simon left, by the time he was back on Osiris the Blue Hands would have done another memory wipe and then not only would Kaylee not get Rylee back, she would have lost Simon for good.
3. They do have another option - River. As much as Simon may want to denounce her, she has managed some fairly spectacular feats in the past and Kaylee would view River sacrificing her life as preferable to Simon risking his.
4. One other complication arises in the next chapter (which I won't divulge), that makes it important for Simon to stick close to home.
I understand what you, and pretty much everyone, has said about the crying thing and I have tried very hard, as has my beta (Leiasky, whom I adore) to cut down on the amount of tears. It's a struggle for me, I'll be honest. I don't know why I just assume they should be all teary-eyed. I agree that all the ladies on the show (in fact all the ladies on any of Joss' shows) are always ridiculously strong and not prone to a lot of crying. Well, except for Dawn, but she doesn't count ... :o)
Anyway, as always, thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond and for giving me constructive criticism that I can use to get better. It really is important to me and I take it very seriously (as this "book" of a comment can attest).
I hope everyone continues to read and enjoy!
Anyhoo, SBZ I really appreciate your comments and the amount of thought you've given to it ...
To be honest, I oscillated quite heavily between Kaylee being strong and stalwart and sending Simon away and being a wreck. Obviously I chose the latter, based on a few variables:
1. She's highly emotional, having just survived a high-risk pregnancy and surgery.
2. There is every reason to believe that if Simon left, by the time he was back on Osiris the Blue Hands would have done another memory wipe and then not only would Kaylee not get Rylee back, she would have lost Simon for good.
3. They do have another option - River. As much as Simon may want to denounce her, she has managed some fairly spectacular feats in the past and Kaylee would view River sacrificing her life as preferable to Simon risking his.
4. One other complication arises in the next chapter (which I won't divulge), that makes it important for Simon to stick close to home.
I understand what you, and pretty much everyone, has said about the crying thing and I have tried very hard, as has my beta (Leiasky, whom I adore) to cut down on the amount of tears. It's a struggle for me, I'll be honest. I don't know why I just assume they should be all teary-eyed. I agree that all the ladies on the show (in fact all the ladies on any of Joss' shows) are always ridiculously strong and not prone to a lot of crying. Well, except for Dawn, but she doesn't count ... :o)
Anyway, as always, thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond and for giving me constructive criticism that I can use to get better. It really is important to me and I take it very seriously (as this "book" of a comment can attest).
I hope everyone continues to read and enjoy!
Sunday, 24 September 2006 04:34
Oh man...things have gone past shit-fan collisions and psycho henchmen going through atmo engines. We're talking about a stage between Crow puree and Pax epidemic here. Cuz Kaylee could be the BDH about to make the ultimate sacrifice if Simon can't fix her. Though personally? I am betting on Jayne. Wanna know why? Cuz I would lay down good money that Jayne's gonna sacrifice his life for River and Rylee and his in-laws, so that the bad guys get defeated but you still get the Mal-kicks-puppy ending of River's quest being for naught. No Jayne means no kids, even if she finds the antidote:(
Still...I wanna see more! Gotta know things...gotta see things! There's BDRs to plan and crazy action to undertake! TamSibling...relieve the agony!
;)
BEB
Still...I wanna see more! Gotta know things...gotta see things! There's BDRs to plan and crazy action to undertake! TamSibling...relieve the agony!
;)
BEB
Sunday, 24 September 2006 05:07
I'm pissed. Mostly because it seems like Jayne's going to die (my favorite male character), and River is going to get shafted... a-freaking-gain. Seriously, she deserves SOME freaking happiness on the lines of what Simon and Kaylee have (ie- some down time as mommy and daddy). Hell, they both do. And Cadie will get screwed if River adopts her with Jayne dead. I don't care how freaking strong and amazing you are. You go through all that crap you're gonna have a shit-ton of luggage that no amount of therapy will ever erase. If River dies and Cadie is adopted by Jayne... well, I hate admitting it, but it makes me think of Woody Allen. Not pretty, but it's true.
Maybe I'm getting bent out of shape for no reason... Of course it's getting bent out of shape that makes me really wish the next chapter is released. <ahem>
Maybe I'm getting bent out of shape for no reason... Of course it's getting bent out of shape that makes me really wish the next chapter is released. <ahem>
Sunday, 24 September 2006 10:08
well, the best compliment about this story is how worked up the readers are getting! :)
aah, such angst for simon and kaylee. I guess my only regret for these tales has been that there has been little focus on Mal & Inara (not that I would wish this level of heartache on them though - what you have given them is ample).
I may not have noticed by myself, but I think I agree about the tears and kaylee's clinginess. Your reasoning for this scene makes perfect sense, but overall, she has handled all the crisis differently than I would expect, right from when she left serenity.
Anyway. I am enjoying it immensely and have pointed several friends towards it as a good read....
aah, such angst for simon and kaylee. I guess my only regret for these tales has been that there has been little focus on Mal & Inara (not that I would wish this level of heartache on them though - what you have given them is ample).
I may not have noticed by myself, but I think I agree about the tears and kaylee's clinginess. Your reasoning for this scene makes perfect sense, but overall, she has handled all the crisis differently than I would expect, right from when she left serenity.
Anyway. I am enjoying it immensely and have pointed several friends towards it as a good read....
Sunday, 24 September 2006 10:33
I can't believe how the angst just builds and builds until it feels as if everything good is going to be torn apart before it can stop. Poor Kaylee, poor Simon, what a dreadful dilemna to put into added by the fact that it isn't being done by a stranger but by Simon and River's evil demented father. Please don't let any of our BDH's die, just make sure Gabriel gets splattered every which way when River explodes his head with her brain. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
You can't take the sky from me
Sunday, 24 September 2006 14:48
Yes, I yell, I scream, I throw tantrums. Tamsibling IS getting better with the crying thing. Well - after this story is over, that is :)
I just LOVE that the readers are getting all worked up over the events that are taking place. SuzFromOz put it best. It's a compliment to the story (and author) that it is making them feel so much.
And just think, there's 20 plus more chapters to go. . . just when you think the angst couldn't get any worse. . .
I really like the tough, strong Kaylee we see when she's speaking to River about never seeing them or the kids again if she doesn't get Rylee back.
I do still think Simon needs to have a huge breakdown! Poor man is gettign it from all sides!
I just LOVE that the readers are getting all worked up over the events that are taking place. SuzFromOz put it best. It's a compliment to the story (and author) that it is making them feel so much.
And just think, there's 20 plus more chapters to go. . . just when you think the angst couldn't get any worse. . .
I really like the tough, strong Kaylee we see when she's speaking to River about never seeing them or the kids again if she doesn't get Rylee back.
I do still think Simon needs to have a huge breakdown! Poor man is gettign it from all sides!
Sunday, 24 September 2006 16:28
Looks like everyone said what I was going to say.
I agree with SuzFromOz about needing more focus on Mal and Inara.
I know that Regan, River, and Jayne will get Rylee back but one of them might need to make a huge sacrifice.
Simon is just about to explode, most people would have a mental break down if so much pressure was put on them.
I feel so sad for Kaylee, she has been through so much stress since the start of this whole story.
Your writing is awesome and I have no idea what you have in store for the next chapters but I bet it's going to be good.
I will not eat or sleep till chapter 11 is up.
I agree with SuzFromOz about needing more focus on Mal and Inara.
I know that Regan, River, and Jayne will get Rylee back but one of them might need to make a huge sacrifice.
Simon is just about to explode, most people would have a mental break down if so much pressure was put on them.
I feel so sad for Kaylee, she has been through so much stress since the start of this whole story.
Your writing is awesome and I have no idea what you have in store for the next chapters but I bet it's going to be good.
I will not eat or sleep till chapter 11 is up.
Sunday, 24 September 2006 16:28
Very intriguing so far. Alot of ANGST!!
I guess the only unimportant question I have is... Does their new son still have jaundice or is he over it? if he still has it why isnt he under the special lamps that get rid of the bilirubin in his system. I guess they just dont have that kind of equipment out there, thats what I figure.
Ive seen a couple of newborns under those lamps and they look so cute with their little eye protectors as if they were in a tanning bed. alright I'll shut up now.
I guess the only unimportant question I have is... Does their new son still have jaundice or is he over it? if he still has it why isnt he under the special lamps that get rid of the bilirubin in his system. I guess they just dont have that kind of equipment out there, thats what I figure.
Ive seen a couple of newborns under those lamps and they look so cute with their little eye protectors as if they were in a tanning bed. alright I'll shut up now.
Sunday, 24 September 2006 16:33
I'm really liking this, if "liking" is the right word for wanting to beat Gabriel Tam's head into a wall because he is Teh Evil. It is a bit melodramatic at times but that's a consequence of the content rather than the treatment, at least mainly, and the plot you're putting together is very exciting.
The one thing I'm finding a bit hard to take is the babies. They were born at just about seven months' gestation, by the information you gave in the first chapter, and that being so they're (painful though it is to say it) too big. I'm not a doctor and I've never had a premature child in the family, but I've had to do some research on the topic for my OF. The boy twin you've had born at 29-30 weeks is the same weight as the average single baby born at 32ish weeks, and given that a) the girl twin is larger than this, about the size of a singleton baby at 34 weeks (though the girl of a boy/girl pair is normally a bit bigger), and b) twins in general are usually slightly smaller than singletons, this is a slight problem. You can certainly plead that they were bigger than average (the nature of an average being that it represents a spread of items) and also that Simon, being a trauma surgeon and not an expert in obstetrics, wouldn't realise that actually they were a decent size, but it's still a bit of a question mark.
In addition, twins born nowadays in both the UK and the US are universally born by caesarean section at about 38 weeks' gestation anyway, to the extent that I know a woman who had twins the other year who spontaneously went into labour at 37 weeks and had a C-section instead of being allowed to give birth vaginally despite the fact that the babies were trying to come out that way. Simon, nice methodical boy that he is, really should have noticed this in his research into twins, unless you're assuming that the 'verse's modern medical techniques make it so safe for women to give birth naturally that this no longer applies.
I don't want to sound like I'm knocking what is a very enjoyable story. I guess I'd prefer it if you covered the points.
The one thing I'm finding a bit hard to take is the babies. They were born at just about seven months' gestation, by the information you gave in the first chapter, and that being so they're (painful though it is to say it) too big. I'm not a doctor and I've never had a premature child in the family, but I've had to do some research on the topic for my OF. The boy twin you've had born at 29-30 weeks is the same weight as the average single baby born at 32ish weeks, and given that a) the girl twin is larger than this, about the size of a singleton baby at 34 weeks (though the girl of a boy/girl pair is normally a bit bigger), and b) twins in general are usually slightly smaller than singletons, this is a slight problem. You can certainly plead that they were bigger than average (the nature of an average being that it represents a spread of items) and also that Simon, being a trauma surgeon and not an expert in obstetrics, wouldn't realise that actually they were a decent size, but it's still a bit of a question mark.
In addition, twins born nowadays in both the UK and the US are universally born by caesarean section at about 38 weeks' gestation anyway, to the extent that I know a woman who had twins the other year who spontaneously went into labour at 37 weeks and had a C-section instead of being allowed to give birth vaginally despite the fact that the babies were trying to come out that way. Simon, nice methodical boy that he is, really should have noticed this in his research into twins, unless you're assuming that the 'verse's modern medical techniques make it so safe for women to give birth naturally that this no longer applies.
I don't want to sound like I'm knocking what is a very enjoyable story. I guess I'd prefer it if you covered the points.
Monday, 02 October 2006 13:29
Good for Kaylee for sticking up for Simon when River tried to talk to her. Good for her as well for telling Jayne she was right, though I do agree with his assesment that none of it is right.
Kaylee beating up herself for the twins' condition is somewhat sad, but I have seen it happen over and over again in real life as well. People are too down on themselves.
And what makes you think he ain’t gonna have Feds on that boat ready to start playin’ with your brain the minute you set foot on it?
~ Very interesting point that Mal is the one to think of this sort of thing, though I suppose looking at everything in life as a trap has something to do with that.
With hurt and angry eyes, she brought her gaze back to Simon and whispered vehemently, “How can you even think of leavin’ us?”
~ So, does Kaylee just not care for her daughter at all or what? She hasn't said one thing at all about finding Rylee, just about Simon leaving.
Having read Eloisa's comments about the twins, I am inclined to agree with her.
Kaylee beating up herself for the twins' condition is somewhat sad, but I have seen it happen over and over again in real life as well. People are too down on themselves.
And what makes you think he ain’t gonna have Feds on that boat ready to start playin’ with your brain the minute you set foot on it?
~ Very interesting point that Mal is the one to think of this sort of thing, though I suppose looking at everything in life as a trap has something to do with that.
With hurt and angry eyes, she brought her gaze back to Simon and whispered vehemently, “How can you even think of leavin’ us?”
~ So, does Kaylee just not care for her daughter at all or what? She hasn't said one thing at all about finding Rylee, just about Simon leaving.
Having read Eloisa's comments about the twins, I am inclined to agree with her.
Post Your Comments
You must log in to post comments.