Never really bothered me before. Didn’t ever think ‘bout it. Ain't never even considered she might be the one. Not that there was ever gonna be just one. I ain't built like that. Always enjoyed the company of womenfolk too much, even if’n I was payin’ for it. But she’s …

First time I saw her, I was holdin’ a gun on her. Her and the captain both. Marco was mouthin’ off as usual, and I was just kinda standing there, waiting to shoot. And there she was, all dark and interesting. Course, didn’t shoot her. Mind you, I’ve felt like shootin’ the Cap often enough. Came close, too, once or twice. But not her. Trouble was, she was married. To that long streak of piss that pretended he was the pilot. Right. Like I'm the Queen of Sheba. But I guess he weren’t as bad as all that. Saved our hides more often than not, and managed to land the boat the last time as if he pulled a miracle outta the hat. Didn’t help him, none. And she was left all on her lonesome.

I offered. Told her to stop grieving and I’d make her feel a lot better. Don’t think she’s ever come closer to killin’ me, but I had to say. I’d’a made her feel all right. Made her feel like a real man had taken her, not some pale excuse for a summbitch who died first chance he got. She told me to stay away from her. Only not in those exact terms. More Chinese in there, and nothing repeatable in mixed company. But all quiet like. Been better if she’d shouted, hit me, thrown something. But instead she just told me where to go, and walked away. Think maybe I didn’t handle that as well as I shoulda.

It ain't like there ain’t other females on board. There’s that crazy sister of the doc, still a coupla mugs short of a saloon, in my opinion, and I ain't forgiven her for lunging at me with that kitchen knife. Still got the scar to prove it, tho’ the doc patched it up good. Ain't gonna tell him that, a’course. But that sister of his ... sleep with her and I could wake up one mornin’ and find I’d be missin’ somethin’ important.

And l