“Can’t a man eat his supper in peace without all this…gabberin’?” Mal pinned a scowl on his face to put more sting to his words.

“Aww Mal, you jus' got yer panties inna bunch cause it turns out you was as green as li’l Kaylee here.” Jayne’s crooked grin widened.

“Hey, I ain’t green,” Kaylee looked ready to hurl the glob of mashed potato like protein clinging to her fork at Jayne “…least not half as green as Simon…” the last part she muttered into her glass.

Simon didn’t have to fake the hurt look on his face.

Instantly regretting her words, Kaylee backtracked, “…was, bao bei. You ain’t like that no more…you’re all sorts…a…clever.”

Simon rolled his eyes. Kaylee gave up on apologizing and instead concentrated on looking cute. Who could be mad at cute?

“Right 'bout that, ain’t no easier mark than the Doc here.” Jayne snorted, a mischievous, even evil, grin on his face.

Mal joined him with a reluctant snicker.

Simon glared at them. It wasn’t his fault that they were lunatics, and by ‘they’ he meant Jayne and Mal. The two of them insisted on pulling infantile pranks on him and dragging the rest of the crew in on it. Their twisted idea of funny just…wasn’t funny. It was…sick…demented.

Simon elbowed River to stop her snickering.

“All this gabberin’ ain’t doin’ any kindness to my ears. Now the lot of you just…bi zuie.” Mal’s mouth twisted to the side.

But Zoe couldn’t let it drop.

“The way the commanding officers told it, the Captain…I mean Private Reynolds, had dumped half that glass of lube oil down his throat before it even dawned on him that lube oil didn’t cure gravity sickness.” Zoe dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“Weren’t right.” Mal complained. “Never left planetside before that, how was I suppose to know …ruttin’ hwoon dan kuh-ooh duh lao bao jurn. All that throwin’ up…I neared died.” He fumed.

“You’re right Sir.” Zoe managed, though she had trouble making it sound convincing.

“Weren’t funny Zoe. Weren’t right either, just plain…mean.” Mal muttered, mostly to hi