Twice in a Blue Sun
Saturday, July 15, 2006
My idea of a cool and canonically semi-logical Firefly episode, written in script format.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3228 RATING: 9.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
“Twice in a Blue Sun”
TEASER
EXT. BEYLIX MARKETPLACE – DAY
MAL, ZOE and JAYNE (with funny hat, of course) tear through a snowy marketplace with a group of four GOONS in hot pursuit, shooting at them all the way. The TRIO approaches a particularly crowded area, and MAL motions for the other two to follow him into a small alley between two run-down shops. ZOE peers out as the GOONS run past.
ZOE
Think we lost ‘em, sir.
MAL
We lost ‘em? I kinda had my mind set on them losing us....
JAYNE
Just where in chou tyen-ah is that mule?
MAL
(on transmitter)
Wash, Beylix ain’t an overly sizable moon, where we at with the escaping?
EXT. BEYLIX THOROUGHFARE – DAY
WASH is tearing down a slightly more major street in the mule—loaded down with some evidently illegally obtained boxes—pursued by ALLIANCE SOLDIERS in similar vehicles. He is weaving around wildly, dodging bullets, while yelling into his transmitter.
WASH
Yeah, about that, sir…
(explosion)
Are you ever going to take me up on that idea about checking before we take a job whether or not the world considers stealing a bad thing…
EXT. BEYLIX ALLEY – DAY
MAL
Would take some of the mystery out of the job, though, wouldn’t it?
WASH (O.S.)
I believe it would…
(sound of explosion on transmitter)
EXT. BEYLIX THOROUGHFARE – DAY
WASH
Wo mun wan luh, captain, where are you?
MAL (O.S.)
Towards the marketplace, Wash…
EXT. BEYLIX ALLEY – DAY
MAL
We’re hidin’ between two…
One of the shops lifts into the air and flies away—it was a small parked ship. The four GOONS, who were just on the other side of the ship, are suddenly feet away from our HEROES.
MAL
Actually…never mind about the hiding. Be seein’ ya.
The GROUP runs out of the former alley just in time to meet WASH speeding by on the mule—they jump on the back, with the GOONS still in pursuit.
EXT. BEYLIX MARKETPLACE – DAY
JAYNE
Where’d that ruttin’ shop go…anybody else see that?
The GOONS give up the chase as the ALLIANCE SOLDIERS speed suddenly
Hope to see more from you.
Is this set pre-Serenity or post-Serenity?
Since Wash and Book are alive and on the ship, one could assume it is either an AU set after the movie in which Wash and Book survived (and if it is so, you should really point it out to avoid confusion) OR it is set before the movie.
And it's in this instance that some problems arise.
First, Wash seems to make a comment that refers to Jayne getting knocked out by a 90-pound girl again. Jayne only gets knocked out by River in the BDM, so this isn't a comment that he should make if this story is set pre-Serenity. Moreover, River seems to be quite a fighting machine, but it's not until the movie she shows such an ability. Up until then, the only thing the crew knew about was her proficiency with firearms...
So, if this is indeed set during the series or Post-Objects in Space, but before the movie, it doesn't work because of the points above. If it is indeed set after the BDM, which it really doesn't look like, you have to mention it is an AU, since two crew-members are alive...
It's something that confused me, because this looked like something that took place before the movie but some things, like River's ass-kicking aspect, doesn't really come to the fore until the movie.
Also, just a little detail. They're in a space ship with metal doors. If River punches the door of Jayne's Bunk the only crunch we'll hear is of the bones of her hand. Same for the Bridge's door. You can't really kick it down since it opens to the side, if I recall correctly. Not to mention it is made of metal, so, unless River added super-strength to her gifts, it isn't really feasible.
Secondly, I do think her fighting abilities were only apparent during the movie, as you notice Mal's shock and all the reactions to having River kick major ass. Given this, you have to assume River never demonstrated anything close to what she showed in the Maidenhead until the BDM. If this takes place between the series and the movie, River will most likely only have demonstrated some proficiency with firearms or, at most, some little graceful move or other.
She doesn't really appear as a full-fledged fighting machine until she gets triggered in the BDM. Otherwise Mal and co. wouldn't be so surprised when she did show she wasn't a helpless little girl. If you're trying to keep to continuity, you have to take care of this. If you want River to have a big fight with the other student, make it one no one else sees, so it doesn't contradict what we know.
Just my two-cents...
Forgot to add that this is assuming River is somewhat "triggered" by circumstances into turning her "fighting mode" on, or, to add a level of complexity, maybe she is aware somehow of her abilities in this regard (like she was when she shot three men with her eyes closed in War Stories) and fights the other student because there's a need to.
Still, if you want to go this way, you can't have the crew watch it because, well, it would then contradict the movie... and ruin continuity...
Sorry to be a bother.
Now....not saying that the grafting makes this story suck. Far from it...I really like what you had here. However, if you want to uphold 'Verse continuity...then some revamps will need to happen:(
My suggestions? Well...like Xeyra said, if you want River to keep her ass-kicking of Siren, have one of them seal off the cargo bay till after the fight so the crew couldn't see the fight properly and River's fighting skills remain unknown.
On the topic of Wash's comment....a small mod to something like "What was that? Did I just miss Jayne falling into his bunk or something? Cuz that would hilarious!" or a similiar sentiment; still have Wash mocking Jayne, but not violating continuity.
BEB
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