What if Mal had stopped Inara from walking away after she told him she was leaving? Hmmm . . . . . . let’s see.

“Inara, I ain’t looking for anything from you I’m just feeling kind of truthsome right now. Life is too damn short for ifs and maybes.”

“I learned something from Nandi. Not just from what happened, but from her. The family she made, the strength of her love for them. That’s what kept them together. When you live with that kind of strength, you get tied to it, you can’t break away. And you never want to.”

Eyes lock, expressions carefully blank.

“There’s something that I... that I should have done a long while ago. And I’m sorry -- for both of us -- that it took me this long.”

Her eyes dart away then back, his body tenses and mind races.

“I’m leaving.”

The cold steel in her voice orders him to say nothing, do nothing. Turning quickly she gathers the shreds of her self -control about her and attempts a dignified retreat.

He never was good at following orders.

~

“Wait. Inara,” his voice rose threateningly, thick with emotion as she only increased her pace. “I said,” he strode after her, catching up quickly at the top of the stairs. “Wait.”

He grabbed her right forearm and swung her around against him pinning her, his hands gripping her forearms almost hard enough to bruise. Remorse hit him like a bullet to the heart as he saw her tear streaked face and he unconsciously loosened his grip, his expression softening.

“Inara,” he said quietly trying unsuccessfully to catch her eyes with his, “what is this really about?” She was standing very still, pinned against him. “This ain’t really about what happened between me ‘n Nandi, is it?”

His face hardened as she said nothing. “After all,” he smiled brittely, “’You’re not my lover. Neither are you my mother, my House Mistress or anyone who has the slightest say in how I conduct my affairs.’” he quoted using her own words against her. ”And besides, we both know what you do durin’ your work hours.”

The flash of