[ I know, Yo se, Yo se, it’s filk but cute filk]

“I wouldn’t if I were you.” Captain Malcolm Reynolds cock the hammer on his pistol which he had pointed at the head of a guard reaching for his own weapon.

“Now, I have no hankering to kill no one today so if you would just kindly hand over that there box I will be on my way.” Just as the guard stepping out of the way, two more purple bellies came rushing through the door.

“Hold it right there!” Mal lowered his weapon.

“Well I guess you got me.” he tilted his head with a knowing smile just as Zoe and Jayne dropped on to the unsuspecting guards from up above.

Jayne looked up from his place on the floor on top of the guard. “They are so comfy, better than an easy chair.”

Malcolm turned back to the one conscious man. “Now how about that box.”

The guard bent to pick up the wooden crate. “Its to heavy, I can’t lift it.”

“I thought these guys were supposed to be the best and the brightest.” Mal motioned the man aside and bent to lift the parcel himself. He made a few grunts. “Um... Jayne can you give me hand?”

Jayne motion the guard to move over with his unconscious comrades so Zoe could keep them all at gun point. “Mal, sometimes I wonder why you are the leader.” Jayne made a few grunts and grows of his own.

“Come on lets just both try, I’m over here, you take that end.” Jayne and Mal clumsily tried to pick up the package. Finally getting it to move.

Zoe kicked the sleeping offices “Up, we’re moving!”

They slowly move the box outside where Serenity was waiting. When they finally got the crate up in to the cargo bay Mal turned to say a few words to the beaten officers.

“Now we are gonna leave you all here.....alive, but we got to make sure y’all don’t sound the alarm until after we are long gone so we’re gonna have to incapacitate you. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

All of a sudden a Zoe made a bad face. “Captain, Is it incredibly necessary that I be here for this?”

“What, what do you mean?” Mal shouted as Zo