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« Show all entries for JULY 2004
Monday, 05 July 2004 01:20:21
I was suposed to have a show this month. art show. my art. my show. I pulled out today. I realized I only have half as many pieces as I wanted to show and the ones I do have I don't really feel like they are ready to show. like with maybe a little tweeking they would be all set but I don't have the time for tweekage. oh how much would I give to have time for tweekage! but I work. 40-50 hours a week. + the toll the illnesses take on me = no time for self. I mean from an early age I've known that no one likes their job. its your patriotic duty to be miserable. roll in it! but I can't do it anymore. should I really hate getting up after an almost sleepless night to go to work? so much so that I pray every night that I wont wake up? oh eternal rest. boo yeah. I hate breathing. I hate the feel of my own heart beeting. I hate the sun. I hate happy people. I hate eating and testing my blood and shooting up. I hate pills and drowziness. I hate side-effects and forgetfulness. I hate highs and lows and manics and depressive dips. I hate therapy. I hate the fakeness of people. I dunno.
Monday, 05 July 2004 04:37:35
Dude. I inspired somebody? What? Who noticed me?! Where?! I'm supposed to not be noticed! My none-noticability is lost! NooooOOOooOOooOOOOooo! That's not true! That's impossible! However, in retrospect, I have searched my feelings and I know it to be true. :knife:
Monday, 05 July 2004 15:18:48
I am that person. the one who hangs at the fringes of the party not really joining but not being a total recluse. just kind of watching people talk to eachother... every once in a while I get singeled out by someone. some cluless extrovert who thinks I want o be included. I am an observer. I am highly sensitive. I am easily effected. thus the fringe is where I'm comfortable... one of the bigest things extroverts do is misunderstand the introvert. rantrant
Monday, 05 July 2004 17:59:19
I have lots of art to share but none of it is firefly themed... I might give a link.
Monday, 05 July 2004 23:40:41
Today I received a spam email from a "Yolanda", and you can guess who I thought of...