Entries are sorted in chronological order with most recent entries at the bottom of the page.
« Show all entries for OCTOBER 2007
Friday, 12 October 2007 08:46:12
................................................. Voices – they will float through a dark place like dust on a hot night – they will catch the ear, play itchy on the mind - and the corridors of Serenity were so very, very dark. “I don’t murder children.” “I do.” Zoe Alleyne heard the voices as she moved through the blackness, as she patrolled. It was typical of Malcolm Reynolds – she thought – not the obsessive playing and replaying of the Operative’s murderous statement… but just the plain fact that he was doing it here – in the darkened interior of Serenity. The rest of the crew had at least attempted to make something of their stay in this place, on this moon – to make a show of trying out new, bigger, brighter, more private quarters - but not the Captain. He was right of course – Zoe knew that sooner or later they would gravitate back here - to the ship, to the heart. Except her. Zoe’s heart was broken. It had been impaled with a spear the size of a giant harpoon and bled away in an instant. “I don’t murder children.” “I do.” Her husband had not been a child – oh, he could be childlike, she loved him for that – so many of the men she met made a big damn show of their all conquering manfullness – but not HIM no. Child like… And hell he was just plain childISH – at times but… he was not a child, he was a man. He had been a man. Had been a husband. She HAD loved him for it. Past tense – past damn tense. Had married him for it. “I do.” Murdered all the same. And so there were voices in the dark – and the chambers of the heart rang hollow and empty with the slow pacing of her feet. But there were no faces, no lights, no husbands, no ghosts, no Wash and this was no place that she wanted to be. But she was. She was patrolling. Someone had to do it.
Friday, 12 October 2007 17:56:36
I'm not one of those people who needs to be in a relationship to be okay. But it would be foolish of me to say it doesn't make me happy to kiss and cuddle and be attracted and attractive. There's something about seeing yourself through someone else's eyes, someone who you think is wonderful, who's telling you you're beautiful inside and out. All those irritating flaws don't seem as important anymore. You feel like a better person. You're making someone smile and you smile more. It's an incredible feeling. So right now... right now I'm just happy. And calm. Happier and calmer than I've been for a long time. There's no demands or unsurety, just feeling good. There's distance. I'm wary of devoting myself overseas again; I know everyone understands that. But regardless of that, I'm putting myself out there to say that I am happy, life is good, a lot of stress has been lifted, and my honeybear means so very much to me. Fate has been in equal measures cruel and kind, really, but kindness and joy always outweighs anything else, I think. It's just finding it that's the trick. The last few months have been quite a learning experience for me. And a rollercoaster. I was so upset so much of the time, and everything seemed to crumble, and then... Then all that ugly dust settled and I saw something beautiful. I never expected things to work out this way, but I'm glad. Wherever it ultimately goes, I'm glad.
Friday, 12 October 2007 19:49:08
...more than I am right now It started yesterday when I spent 4 hours in doctors offices because of a shoulder injury. I started at the orthopedic office and ended up getting an MRI where they injected ink into my shoulder... It's very possible that I would have to get surgery over my winter break and it would leave me unable to drive for a month and pretty much in a sling... I'm scared