MANWITHPEZ'S BLOG
What I Say As Opposed To What I Think #8,769: Where's My Book Deal?
Thursday, November 17, 2005 2:27 AM
You know the drill, or you might not...I've been missing in action for awhile now. People talk to me...Then I respond. Like most people, I usually think something different than I actually say. These are some of the results.At Work:
SWOSS: But, we're going to see Harry Potter on Sunday.
Me: (Bullshit! I went to see that one lame flick, with Darth What'sHisNuts in it. The least you can do is come see Serenity with me!) Yeah, but Serenity is a one time thing...There's plenty of Potter to go around. (Please God! Don't let him do his Dobby impression!)
On Vacation:
lilmanwithpez: Granny! My penis is too big!
Me: (I know I'm going to hate myself for the rest of my life for laughing at that...But, come on! Did I really just hear my son tell his great-grandmother that his penis was too big?)... (Honestly, I can't think of anything to say. Also...That's my boy!!!)
On The Phone:
daughterlikemother: I'm going to spank you in half!
Me: (You know, if it wasn't so sassy, I would think that was one of the cleverest things I've ever heard! Spank you in half...HA! I'm going to have to remember that one.) Who do you think you're talking to?
At The Gym:
Hawaiian Lion: I've never tried to kill anyone with a racquetball before.
Me: (The large bump on the back of my head states otherwise...) That's okay man.
At Home Again:
lilmanwithpez: When dissy (that's sissy, meaning his sister) get home, we go hannoween!
Me: (Oh, he does love his Halloween, doesn't he. And, know I have to be the asshole that tells a two year old that Halloween only comes once a year...Would that it were everyday!) Halloween's over son. But, you still have some of your trick or treat candy left. (Minus all the Three Musketeers I ate out of it...What do you know...I AM an asshole!)
And, that's all I got to say (or think) about that...
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